00:07:59.000 --> 00:08:00.000
I.
00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:02.000
Used to even thought Dr. Jan. Very good point.
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Well, I thank you very much for the introduction.
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Did you like that?
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It. It was great, and I love that picture of me. I'm like, Oh, gee! But anyway, I am a relationship.
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And I do.
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Really.
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My my goal and my mission is to help.
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People.
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Good.
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To communicate better, so that they can have.
00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:36.000
The relationships, personal and professional relationships.
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They would love to have.
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I have found out, and from my own journey.
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My own experiences.
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Is, that.
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Communication.
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:49.000
Really.
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Is the life, blood.
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Relationships. When we look back.
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And relationships where we say, Oh, you know.
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I don't know why that happened, or why they think that of me, and that's not me. It's usually the way that you communicate.
00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:09.000
And that's the words that you use.
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Body, language.
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Because one thing we do know is that 80%.
00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:19.000
Of effective communication is.
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Nonverbal.
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So.
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80%.
00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:24.000
80%.
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80% of it. Wow.
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Yes, 80%.
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And I'm also an author.
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Of 2 books, and I collaborated on 2 other books.
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The 1st book. Well, I am a retired.
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Teacher, not a retired educator, because when I do presentations I still feel as though I'm educating people.
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But.
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Oh, I like that.
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I taught for 30 years, and I was also.
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A Chicago public schools administrative for a while. When I.
00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:04.000
Hi.
00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:05.000
Light.
00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:07.000
Imparting.
00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:11.000
Education. I liked informing people.
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I loved helping people.
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And so I became a speaker.
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And I authored.
00:10:19.000 --> 00:10:21.000
My 1st book.
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Was called a little book of Big Behavior Interventions, because I I taught special aid.
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Children.
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And.
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Oh, excellent! Thank you for doing that.
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Oh, oh, thank you!
00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:34.000
That's a challenge as it is, it's.
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It was a challenge. As a matter of fact, I had to come out of special education because I taught children with behavior problems, and I thought.
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You know. Just kind of rubbing off on me.
00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:48.000
So I decided, okay.
00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:52.000
Doesn't that hurt your heart? I shouldn't say her. But doesn't that.
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Engulf your heart in some ways when you're working with children that are that are building and growing, and there's so much that they can do. But.
00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:03.000
Helping them get to that next level.
00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:04.000
Yes.
00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:06.000
Take that next step. That's a challenge sometime, isn't it?
00:11:06.000 --> 00:11:08.000
It's a challenge.
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But it's extremely.
00:11:11.000 --> 00:11:12.000
Hi pat!
00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:17.000
It's a challenge, because people have preconceived notions.
00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:21.000
About children who have special needs.
00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:23.000
And and that to me.
00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:27.000
Was the main challenge. It wasn't with the children.
00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:29.000
It was.
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Parents, sometimes with other teachers, sometimes with just people, sometimes.
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Who would just assume.
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Because a child.
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Has is, has a special need.
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And I worked with learning disability. Children who had learning disabilities.
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And children who had behavior issues.
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There was this preconceived notion. Oh.
00:11:55.000 --> 00:12:00.000
Learning disability. Oh, well, they can't read. Oh, yeah, they can.
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:06.000
And so, yeah, it was. It was challenging, but extremely rewarding.
00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:07.000
And so I wrote.
00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:08.000
I bet it is.
00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:12.000
Look that teachers use. And it was the 10 basic misbehaviors.
00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:14.000
Of children and.
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Just common sense interventions that teachers, parents, grandparents could do.
00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:24.000
Just to keep it from escalating.
00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:30.000
And once I so you asked me a little bit about me. So now I'm really, you know, talking
00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:32.000
Good, please. That's what we want to know.
00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:33.000
Is.
00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:36.000
Because as good as the things you are. You're a doctor.
00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:39.000
And I'm gonna just start it up. But for just a second.
00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:42.000
There's a prejudiced among people.
00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:44.000
On education levels.
00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:45.000
And knowledge levels.
00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:58.000
That there are people you say? Well, I'm a doctor. They're a doctor. They all sudden red flag that that blocker! Oh, I don't want to talk to them. They know more than I do. They? They think they're so smart, or whatever positive.
00:12:58.000 --> 00:12:59.000
And.
00:12:59.000 --> 00:13:03.000
I am just so impressed about what you do know.
00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:05.000
And what you're doing with what you know.
00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:08.000
I'm anxious. I bet the audience is also.
00:13:08.000 --> 00:13:12.000
Tell us more about you and what you're doing.
00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:16.000
I also, and you know what I just want to say something about that.
00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:21.000
People will say to me if they ask me a question.
00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:22.000
And.
00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:24.000
If I don't know the answer.
00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:26.000
I'll get sometimes. Will you? A doctor.
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:27.000
Exactly.
00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:32.000
I'm not a doctor in that.
00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:33.000
Physically.
00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:35.000
You know. So yeah, you're right. You're right about what you said.
00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:42.000
But I also do relationship and communication.
00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:43.000
And.
00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:44.000
One of the.
00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:47.000
Passions of my cause. I have several.
00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:49.000
Is the adult daughter.
00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:53.000
A mother relationship.
00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:57.000
Because of my journey with my mom.
00:13:57.000 --> 00:14:02.000
I found I did some research across the United States of women.
00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:05.000
And I found that over 70%.
00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:06.000
Of.
00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:10.000
Women adulties and their moms.
00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:15.000
Have issues navigating to challenges in that relationship.
00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:20.000
And that's something that relationship the mother, daughter, relationship.
00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:22.000
Every relationship, that.
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:24.000
We have.
00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:25.000
Both men.
00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:32.000
And women. It affects our personal relationships, it affects our professional relationships.
00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:36.000
So I do. Coach mothers and daughters on how to.
00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:37.000
Recon.
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:39.000
And it's all about.
00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:40.000
Communic.
00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:44.000
And that really kinds of.
00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:45.000
Onto.
00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:48.000
Our relationships.
00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:53.000
And communications outside of that relationship.
00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:57.000
I appreciate what you're saying there, too, Jan, because one of the.
00:14:57.000 --> 00:15:04.000
Words that I add on when I'm talking about communication. I also say collaboration.
00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:06.000
Because it's communication.
00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:09.000
But I call that collaboration that.
00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:11.000
Circle that never ending circle.
00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:16.000
That continues that discussion and that talk in those words.
00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:19.000
So you're communicating, and you're collaborating.
00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:21.000
So when you hear someone say something.
00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:24.000
You're also asking questions.
00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:25.000
Yes.
00:15:25.000 --> 00:15:26.000
What do you mean by that.
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:27.000
Yes.
00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:28.000
How does that make you feel right?
00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:29.000
Yes.
00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:32.000
Definitely definitely.
00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:36.000
I like what you said about what do you mean?
00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:38.000
Cause.
00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:40.000
So often.
00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:45.000
There are misunderstandings, because we assume.
00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:47.000
This is what that person meant.
00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:48.000
That's.
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:50.000
And it's also our perception.
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:51.000
And where we are.
00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:52.000
At that.
00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.000
Moment.
00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:58.000
So. Yes, it's always good. If you feel.
00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:00.000
You really want some clarification.
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:03.000
And some collaboration.
00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:05.000
And you can say.
00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:06.000
Well.
00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:08.000
What I hear is.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:11.000
Or do you mean that.
00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:13.000
Because a lot of times.
00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:14.000
If we don't.
00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:16.000
We go away with.
00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:21.000
This is what they meant, and and.
00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:22.000
And.
00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:23.000
And it causes misunderstandings, and you know.
00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:24.000
Since it's.
00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:27.000
I am so with you, and I'm sorry, but that's you, just. But as you were talking of something.
00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:29.000
As we're listening to others.
00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:32.000
And we hear what they're saying.
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:34.000
And they have a meaning to what they're saying.
00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:36.000
We hear them.
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:41.000
We hear that communication. We didn't collaborate, or maybe not understand.
00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:47.000
And then when we leave that conversation, we say, well, they said.
00:16:47.000 --> 00:16:51.000
Well, and they may have said that somewhat.
00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:54.000
But the word exchange that goes from what they actually said.
00:16:54.000 --> 00:16:58.000
Toy that person received it. Those assumptions you're saying.
00:16:58.000 --> 00:17:00.000
Can be.
00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:02.000
Extremely.
00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:03.000
Different.
00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:06.000
About what was meant when they were talking right.
00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:08.000
Exactly.
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:11.000
Exactly mark and and.
00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:13.000
You know, E, even if you think of.
00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:15.000
Yourself.
00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:18.000
Sometimes that you walked away.
00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:19.000
With.
00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:21.000
What you thought this person did.
00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:22.000
And later on.
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:24.000
You find out.
00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:26.000
Oh, that's not what they meant.
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.000
Yes.
00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:29.000
But that's what they said.
00:17:29.000 --> 00:17:31.000
So it's always good.
00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:32.000
To.
00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:33.000
If, if.
00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:37.000
Always good not to assume.
00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:41.000
That because of the words that they used.
00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:43.000
That that.
00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:45.000
What they meant.
00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:46.000
And.
00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:47.000
So when I say body, language.
00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:51.000
You know a lot of times. We don't even look at the language.
00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:54.000
But body language has a lot.
00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:57.000
To do it. If I'm sitting here like this.
00:17:57.000 --> 00:18:10.000
And I'm like, Okay, you know, my arms folded, and I'm you know, and you're just speaking to me. And I say, Sure, I get what you're saying, but my arms are folded, and you know.
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:11.000
Looking around.
00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:12.000
But you assume because of it.
00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:17.000
Yeah, yeah, might be looking around, you know, or.
00:18:17.000 --> 00:18:19.000
Kind of spacey look.
00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:24.000
That goes it. It is in my eyes, and you know.
00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:25.000
Wait a minute.
00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:28.000
She's not really listening to me.
00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:29.000
A lot, you know.
00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:31.000
We often, just.
00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:34.000
Don't even pay attention and keep on top.
00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:36.000
Yeah.
00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:37.000
Yeah.
00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:41.000
That is so true that coming out of.
00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:43.000
Lack of collaboration.
00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:45.000
The person is looking more toward.
00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:47.000
How they're going to respond.
00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:49.000
To what's being said.
00:18:49.000 --> 00:18:51.000
Other than listening.
00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:57.000
Communicating and collaborating about the point that's being discussed at that time.
00:18:57.000 --> 00:19:00.000
Personally or professionally.
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:04.000
Cause. There's too many times that we hear something.
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:06.000
And like you're saying that body, language.
00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:08.000
They say a word, and.
00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:10.000
Even may not think about it.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:18.000
And they say, Well, for me, I work with people with anger. What anger means! Well, what does that anger mean to you?
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:21.000
And what no anger is more like a rage.
00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:24.000
But it may be to one person, but it's not to another.
00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:26.000
And anger can be just a frustration.
00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:30.000
So like you're saying when you're hearing words from someone.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:31.000
And you don't clarify.
00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:34.000
You don't clar, you don't confirm.
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:40.000
Aren't we kind of falling back into an assumption based on our own culture?
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:42.000
Yes.
00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:46.000
And I like what you brought up about listening.
00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:51.000
We listen to respond.
00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:54.000
It's a habit. It's a bad habit.
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:56.000
But it's a habit that.
00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:58.000
And I'm going to save this.
00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:01.000
All of us have.
00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:02.000
Absolutely.
00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:05.000
And that's where the misunderstandings come.
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:07.000
Because we're so busy.
00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:14.000
Thinking about how we're going to respond. And if you notice in a lot of conversations.
00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:18.000
You can't even finish what you're saying.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:20.000
Because that person might.
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.000
Just jump right in.
00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:27.000
And say, Oh, yes, and and they start talking, and you're like, Wait a minute.
00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:37.000
I didn't finish what I was saying before they responded, or they had something to say. But that was not my point.
00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:38.000
Then.
00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:40.000
And it's something that we all.
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:41.000
Is, that.
00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:44.000
It. So when you talk about anger.
00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:45.000
Okay.
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:47.000
I get angry.
00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:49.000
It's.
00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:50.000
You say it.
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:51.000
I didn't.
00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:56.000
Listen to everything you said. I didn't clarify.
00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:57.000
Is this what you mean?
00:20:57.000 --> 00:20:59.000
Before.
00:20:59.000 --> 00:21:00.000
I became angry.
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.000
Then you see, people say, Well, wait a minute.
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:08.000
You know. Why did you get? Why are you angry? Well, because you said.
00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:13.000
Well, wait a minute.
00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:14.000
Exactly.
00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:18.000
Or if you had let me finish right? Right? Yeah.
00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:22.000
If if they weren't trying to respond so quickly on what they thought.
00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:25.000
But how many times, though.
00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:27.000
On this.
00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:33.000
Dr. Jan. Do people also relate to something that happened to them previously?
00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:36.000
And your conversation could be talking about.
00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:42.000
Something that's happening now that has nothing to do with either one of you or anybody that you know.
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:46.000
But as you're talking about an event, went to a party, went to.
00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:49.000
A ball game, went to church.
00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:51.000
And soon as you mentioned that.
00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:56.000
Back of their mind. They remember something that happened the last time they were the ball game, or a party or a church.
00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.000
And that's where their path goes.
00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:03.000
Based on the assumptions that you're talking about. A similar situation.
00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:06.000
That happened earlier, that you have no.
00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:08.000
Idea about.
00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:11.000
Why do we do that? And again, like you said, we all do it.
00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:14.000
What is it about us.
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:18.000
That takes us down that path.
00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:22.000
We are all products of our past.
00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:23.000
And.
00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:26.000
When I said earlier.
00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:30.000
Someone can be speaking to you about something. That is where.
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:32.000
You are.
00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:35.000
Right then and there.
00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.000
Because yes, someone can say something to you.
00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:41.000
And because of.
00:22:41.000 --> 00:22:43.000
A similar.
00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:45.000
Conversation.
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:46.000
Or.
00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:49.000
A similar place that you were in.
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:51.000
In your past.
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:52.000
That brings up.
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:55.000
How you perceive.
00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:57.000
What that person is saying to you.
00:22:57.000 --> 00:22:59.000
Now.
00:22:59.000 --> 00:23:06.000
Earlier, I said, I am a mother, daughter, relationship, coach.
00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:07.000
And.
00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:10.000
I can't tell you how many times.
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:12.000
I've talked to.
00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:14.000
Daughters.
00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:15.000
And.
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:17.000
They!
00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:18.000
Are.
00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:20.000
And even moms.
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:25.000
They talk about something that happened.
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:32.000
To them something their mom said, or something their daughter said when they were 10 years old.
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.000
Now.
00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:34.000
Here it is!
00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:37.000
They can be in their fifties, whatever.
00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:39.000
And they bring.
00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:41.000
Up.
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:44.000
And it's like, wait, you know. Well.
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:46.000
She said.
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:47.000
When I was 10.
00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:52.000
That I would never oh, no! This is a good one.
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:53.000
Oh.
00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:56.000
You're just like your dad.
00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:57.000
Now.
00:23:57.000 --> 00:24:00.000
She said that when I was 10 years old.
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:02.000
Here you are!
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:03.000
You at 30 or 40.
00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:08.000
And she might say something or someone else says something about.
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:09.000
Their father.
00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:11.000
Now she's back.
00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:14.000
When she was 10 years old.
00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:16.000
That feeling comes up.
00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:20.000
And she might respond negatively.
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:25.000
So we we are a product.
00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:26.000
Our past.
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:27.000
We are.
00:24:27.000 --> 00:24:29.000
They even access into something the other day.
00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:34.000
And they were saying they were talking about music.
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:37.000
And how someone can say something to you.
00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:38.000
And.
00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:40.000
You go back to.
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:41.000
Right? I read, yeah.
00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:43.000
I remember that music.
00:24:43.000 --> 00:24:46.000
And that music made me feel a certain way.
00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:47.000
Yeah.
00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:48.000
So.
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:52.000
It's it's imprinted upon us.
00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:56.000
So how you bring up some great points. This is what I work with. Often.
00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:59.000
How do you help people.
00:24:59.000 --> 00:25:01.000
In that process of saying.
00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:04.000
Yes, this is a situation.
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:05.000
Here's.
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:12.000
The way the weather was. Here's the cloud, or cloudless sky, beautiful sky! Here's the tree, here's the lake.
00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:14.000
Or here's that.
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.000
Traffic jam, or here's that road. Rage.
00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:19.000
And this happened to you.
00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:21.000
Were you helping people.
00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:22.000
Move, beyond that.
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.000
But there's a mother, daughter.
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:26.000
Any kind of relationship.
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:28.000
What are some things that you're saying that helps them.
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:30.000
Move, beyond that.
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:35.000
Culture that capture they still have of the past.
00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:38.000
Well, I never negated.
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:42.000
But I do let them talk about it.
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:46.000
And I will ask questions.
00:25:46.000 --> 00:25:49.000
Where were you?
00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:52.000
What environment were you in.
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:56.000
I let them really speak about it in.
00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:58.000
Detail.
00:25:58.000 --> 00:25:59.000
Great.
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:03.000
So? How so? How did that make you feel.
00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:04.000
Now.
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:07.000
Let's talk about today.
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:09.000
How do you feel?
00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:11.000
That relates to.
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:12.000
What's happening.
00:26:12.000 --> 00:26:15.000
Today or right now, or whatever situation.
00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.000
You know that we're trying to alleviate.
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:21.000
And it's it's.
00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:25.000
Really something when they start thinking.
00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:27.000
Sometimes just say.
00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:31.000
You know.
00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:36.000
That relates to to right. Now, then, we talk about.
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:38.000
This right, now.
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:43.000
Whatever the situation is that we're going to alleviate now.
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.000
Dependent.
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:47.000
Depending on what it is.
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:49.000
Sometimes.
00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:52.000
I have to take them back to.
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:53.000
Now.
00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:55.000
What you have to do is.
00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.000
Forgive yourself first.st
00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:02.000
For whatever it is.
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:06.000
That's blocking you, that you feel.
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:09.000
This blocking you from where you want to go.
00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:12.000
Which is really hard.
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:15.000
Then we have to. We talk about.
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:16.000
What does that mean?
00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:19.000
How do you think you're going to feel.
00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:23.000
How do you look? What do? What do you want in the future?
00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:26.000
Now, how are we going to work towards that.
00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:29.000
So depending on.
00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:31.000
What that challenge is.
00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:35.000
Then we just dive deep into it.
00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:37.000
And I asked them.
00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:39.000
There is.
00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:41.000
Extremely important.
00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:45.000
To be vulnerable with me.
00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:48.000
In other words, don't think.
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:51.000
Or she doesn't want to hear this.
00:27:51.000 --> 00:27:56.000
Or if I say this, she's going to think this of me.
00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:01.000
And I let them know you have to be open. You have to be honest.
00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:04.000
Not only with me, but with yourself.
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:06.000
It's a process.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:07.000
It.
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:08.000
It's. It's a process.
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:11.000
And sometimes is, is really hard.
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:14.000
I tell them I say, okay, so.
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:16.000
Pretend there is.
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:20.000
There you are standing there sitting there, and you have a zipper.
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:22.000
That goes.
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:23.000
From.
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:24.000
Here.
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:26.000
To the pit of your stomach.
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:29.000
Now, what we want to do.
00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:31.000
Is on zoom.
00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:32.000
And.
00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:35.000
Okay, it might get to a certain point.
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.000
And it's like, well, I don't know if I can go there.
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:40.000
Okay, so now.
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:47.000
Less slowly, as if until you have unzipped it totally.
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:51.000
Then we can really work on you.
00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:53.000
Improving that relationship.
00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:55.000
Especially.
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:57.000
With mothers and daughters.
00:28:57.000 --> 00:29:02.000
And even what I found working with.
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:05.000
Leaders.
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:08.000
We have to get past this.
00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:10.000
I write all the time.
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:12.000
No matter what.
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:13.000
Or.
00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:14.000
Yes.
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:16.000
This is so deep.
00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:18.000
And I don't know how to get rid of it.
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:20.000
I have had.
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:22.000
Leaders and.
00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:24.000
leaders of organizations.
00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:25.000
Who.
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:28.000
Don't understand why.
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:32.000
They have to turn high turnover in their business.
00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:34.000
And.
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:37.000
It's usually you have to go back to. Okay.
00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:40.000
Tell me about you, who you are.
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:41.000
What do you think?
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:43.000
How do you feel about this stuff.
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:47.000
How do you communicate with your employees or your colleagues?
00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:50.000
What's happening.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.000
Do you find sometimes that goes back to.
00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:59.000
Their parental relationship, perhaps, or someone that they may have.
00:29:59.000 --> 00:30:00.000
Yes.
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.000
Growing up with.
00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:03.000
Yes.
00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:06.000
Yes, yes.
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:10.000
Le, I'm gonna just talk about me for an instance.
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:13.000
I always felt.
00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:15.000
And my mother.
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:16.000
Was so.
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.000
Trolling.
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:23.000
Well, let me do anything. I felt.
00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:24.000
And.
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:28.000
She. I felt she was controlling my life.
00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:30.000
All the way up to being an adult.
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:32.000
So.
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:34.000
What did I do?
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:36.000
I decided.
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:39.000
Whatever career I had.
00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:41.000
I didn't want to have a boss over me.
00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:43.000
Now you know.
00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:45.000
Like a reason gonna be.
00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:48.000
So when I 1st started out.
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:50.000
You know, looking for a job.
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:53.000
I wanted to be a secretary.
00:30:53.000 --> 00:30:55.000
In a 2 girl office.
00:30:55.000 --> 00:31:00.000
Not in the pool, cause if you're in a pool, got false.
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:01.000
Okay.
00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:02.000
Thought about.
00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:04.000
Why did I go into.
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:05.000
Teaching.
00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:08.000
Because I'm in a classroom.
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:10.000
Nobody standing over me.
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:12.000
You know what I'm saying.
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:15.000
And and so I look back.
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:16.000
And.
00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:19.000
I thought, Oh, wow!
00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:20.000
But.
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:22.000
Let's turn it around.
00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:25.000
When I became.
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:28.000
A supervisor, or a boss.
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:30.000
Guess? What?
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.000
I was controlling.
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:36.000
You know.
00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:39.000
And it was subconscious.
00:31:39.000 --> 00:31:43.000
When I say things on you.
00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:46.000
And even my husband said.
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:53.000
My mother's last name is Travis, and he said one day, Okay, Mrs. Travis.
00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:56.000
And he said, You are so controlling.
00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:59.000
Yes, you are.
00:31:59.000 --> 00:32:01.000
I had to.
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:03.000
And.
00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:06.000
What is going on here.
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:09.000
Yes, so it does.
00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:10.000
Relate back.
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:11.000
A lot of it.
00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:12.000
2.
00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:14.000
Your parents.
00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:18.000
It does I? I hear so much in what you're saying.
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:21.000
That similar situation happened to me because.
00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:22.000
My.
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:24.000
Oldest brother.
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:26.000
Told me that because my mother.
00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:31.000
Didn't get along a lot of times. She to me, I think, like you're saying.
00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:33.000
I thought it was a bit controlling.
00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:34.000
And.
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:38.000
As I grew up I found out that I grew up more like her.
00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:43.000
Then I did my dad, but my dad and I were very close.
00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:48.000
That was interesting that I took after some of her actions.
00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:50.000
More than I did.
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:51.000
The dad that.
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:55.000
We were buds. We were friends, not just father, son.
00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:56.000
But yet I.
00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:59.000
Picked up on a lot of my mother's.
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:01.000
Culture.
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:03.000
Right.
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:06.000
But you know I looked back.
00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:09.000
When when I, when I finally.
00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:14.000
Said, Okay, maybe I am.
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:17.000
And so I had to go back.
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:19.000
And.
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:21.000
Why did I think this.
00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:26.000
Then I had to go to. Okay. What was she feeling.
00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:28.000
What was she doing? And.
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:32.000
See my father had left.
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:35.000
And she really felt that.
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:41.000
It wasn't that she was felt like she was controlling me, but it was like.
00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:43.000
Protecting me.
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:47.000
So I had to go back and look at.
00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:50.000
Why I felt.
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:52.000
See what's controlling and and really change that.
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:55.000
And to know.
00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:56.000
She wasn't.
00:33:56.000 --> 00:34:00.000
I perceived it as being controlling, but what she was she was being.
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:02.000
Protected.
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:03.000
And.
00:34:03.000 --> 00:34:04.000
Also.
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:06.000
Living, out.
00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:12.000
Perjury because she was never able to finish college.
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:13.000
And.
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:16.000
It was, you know. Oh, no, you're going to college.
00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:18.000
But no, I want it to be a singer.
00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:23.000
You know. Oh, no, you're going.
00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:30.000
But after I look back, had conversations with her I understood, and you know what.
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:32.000
With me, understanding.
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:34.000
Her journey.
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:37.000
It helped me to understand me.
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:41.000
It also helped me to change.
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:45.000
Because it was all about my perception, so it helped me to change.
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:47.000
As far as okay.
00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:49.000
Dennis.
00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:51.000
Alright, step back.
00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:56.000
A leader is not a person that tells people what to do.
00:34:56.000 --> 00:34:57.000
Let it go.
00:34:57.000 --> 00:35:00.000
Step back.
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.000
And it really helped.
00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:04.000
And I do that with my clients, a lot depending on.
00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:06.000
You know the situation that we're talking.
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.000
It was speaking of.
00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:11.000
Right. I work on that. Quite a bit depends on the situation. Every time.
00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:12.000
Yeah.
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:13.000
That.
00:35:13.000 --> 00:35:16.000
One of the things I'll talk about when people are asking me questions.
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:19.000
Say it's all about the dots.
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.000
DOTS.
00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.000
It's all about.
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:26.000
Depending on the situation.
00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:29.000
And our ability to see that.
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:31.000
Or understand that.
00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:33.000
And feel.
00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:35.000
What that situation is.
00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:38.000
Is going to relate to how we're going to.
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:39.000
Act.
00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:40.000
Or react.
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:42.000
What's going on right.
00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:45.000
It's connecting those dots.
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:47.000
Definite.
00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:51.000
Now you mentioned you work a lot with mothers and daughters.
00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:55.000
I work a lot with a fathers and families.
00:35:55.000 --> 00:36:02.000
What do you feel? We've been? How do you feel? We have improved over the last few decades since we were born.
00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:04.000
In helping that relationship.
00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:06.000
To come along. Better.
00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:08.000
That we truly are.
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.000
All the same.
00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:11.000
And.
00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:16.000
There's no one better one person better than the other. The mail's not better. The female's not better.
00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:17.000
But we are.
00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:20.000
All.
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:21.000
And we need to work.
00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:25.000
Toward that growth, going forward.
00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:28.000
Do you feel the same? What! How do you work with your.
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:32.000
Mother, daughters in that situation.
00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:36.000
One thing that, and I really like what you said about. We're all the same.
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:41.000
I let them know you are not alone.
00:36:41.000 --> 00:36:47.000
You and you, and that's why I did that.
00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:48.000
Research.
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:50.000
Because mark.
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:53.000
It. It had a lot to do with my journey.
00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:55.000
But I thought.
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:56.000
That.
00:36:56.000 --> 00:36:59.000
This was just me and my mother.
00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:02.000
Until I found out.
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:03.000
That.
00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:04.000
I was not.
00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:05.000
Alone.
00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:06.000
And.
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:09.000
I think that really helps in.
00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:13.000
Both of those situations in that.
00:37:13.000 --> 00:37:15.000
You are no different.
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:21.000
Then, then, that that other person, as a matter of fact.
00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:24.000
You might be sitting next to.
00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:28.000
Someone who's having the same questions.
00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:30.000
The the same.
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:31.000
Issues.
00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:32.000
That you are.
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:33.000
In their own life.
00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:34.000
Yeah.
00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:35.000
Yeah.
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:37.000
And I think.
00:37:37.000 --> 00:37:39.000
Now.
00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:41.000
When you as far as.
00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:45.000
Is improving is that people now.
00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:48.000
Are not afraid.
00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:53.000
To be vulnerable until people what they're going through.
00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:55.000
And.
00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:59.000
You know, people look up to celebrities.
00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:00.000
And.
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:02.000
When a celebrity.
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:06.000
Comes out and says, this.
00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:08.000
Was the challenge.
00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:16.000
That I had, or this is the challenge that I'm having.
00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:19.000
And I'm not saying that's the best, you know, to look at the celebrities. But.
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:20.000
But.
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:22.000
We have this.
00:38:22.000 --> 00:38:26.000
This notion that oh, you know their life is just wonderful.
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:30.000
You know they're making all this money.
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:39.000
You know people just worship them, whatever. Then you find out. Wait a minute.
00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:41.000
Gosh!
00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:45.000
He had problems, or she had problems with addiction.
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:46.000
Or.
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:48.000
My goodness.
00:38:48.000 --> 00:38:50.000
Her mother.
00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:52.000
She and her mother.
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:56.000
You know, they had a horrible relationship.
00:38:56.000 --> 00:38:57.000
So.
00:38:57.000 --> 00:38:59.000
You know, and they but.
00:38:59.000 --> 00:39:03.000
Oh, my God! But look where they are now!
00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:05.000
And so I think that.
00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:06.000
Helps.
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:07.000
A lot.
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:09.000
Or it for people to know that.
00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:12.000
No matter who you are.
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:16.000
No matter what environment that you're in.
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:17.000
That.
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:18.000
You.
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:19.000
Are not.
00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:21.000
Alone.
00:39:21.000 --> 00:39:22.000
That.
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:23.000
You are just like.
00:39:23.000 --> 00:39:28.000
That person that maybe you work from 9 to 5, and you're struggling.
00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:30.000
But here is this person here.
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:31.000
Who's.
00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:37.000
Celebrity, and they're struggling that you're struggling.
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:41.000
That is so true, and we hear that quite often about.
00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:44.000
Money doesn't buy happiness.
00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:45.000
It may make.
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:46.000
Happiness.
00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:48.000
Or fluent.
00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:50.000
If you can get there.
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:55.000
But, as you mentioned, there are a lot of people that have an unreal amount of money.
00:39:55.000 --> 00:40:00.000
That do not know to have, don't do not know how to handle it.
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.000
And they don't know what to do with the time that they have.
00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:08.000
We think about that. We have to go to work from the 9 to 5, 8 to 5, whatever it may be, and.
00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:12.000
What was us, and trust me, I was there many times.
00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:14.000
And then we look at people who.
00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:16.000
Do make all this money.
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:19.000
And they don't know what to do with their time.
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:21.000
You know, a lot of them get into organizations.
00:40:21.000 --> 00:40:24.000
They somewhat like you and I.
00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:26.000
We help other people.
00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:28.000
And that puts value in their life.
00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:29.000
Yeah.
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:30.000
But how many people.
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:32.000
Don't know how to do that.
00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:34.000
Yeah.
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:35.000
Going down.
00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:39.000
Go aren't on that journey, not going down that path.
00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:40.000
Yeah.
00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:46.000
I just saw something about one of the stars.
00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:52.000
And he was saying, how you know he has all of this money.
00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:53.000
And he said.
00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:54.000
You know.
00:40:54.000 --> 00:40:57.000
I can buy anything.
00:40:57.000 --> 00:40:59.000
I could do anything I want.
00:40:59.000 --> 00:41:01.000
But that happiness.
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:05.000
Wasn't there. It's not there, because now.
00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:06.000
What do you do?
00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:08.000
He said, you know.
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:12.000
I found happiness is in here.
00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:15.000
And in here.
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:17.000
All of this money that I have.
00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:20.000
I can buy anything.
00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:21.000
But.
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:22.000
What?
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:23.000
That was not making me happy.
00:41:23.000 --> 00:41:26.000
Exactly. What do we want?
00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:28.000
What are our desires?
00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:31.000
Where is our passion?
00:41:31.000 --> 00:41:34.000
You buy anything, can have anything.
00:41:34.000 --> 00:41:36.000
But if we don't have that desire.
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:39.000
We don't have that passion if we don't have that want.
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:42.000
It doesn't matter. We're still going to be unhappy.
00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:43.000
Yeah.
00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:46.000
How many times do we hear about the people who.
00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:48.000
Are very wealthy.
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:50.000
That are buying someplace.
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:53.000
What is it called the boondocks out in the middle of nowhere.
00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:56.000
To get away from all the people.
00:41:56.000 --> 00:41:58.000
Just like a lot of us that are.
00:41:58.000 --> 00:41:59.000
Oh, let's just say middle income.
00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:03.000
Alright! What do we wanna do? We want to get away.
00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:05.000
We all do.
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:07.000
And just because we have money gives us that.
00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:10.000
Maybe that ability just a little bit more to do it.
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:16.000
As we've talked about. We are all the same, and we all want that same path.
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:18.000
Maybe that what trend quality.
00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:21.000
To enjoy ourselves.
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:23.000
And be able to make the best of.
00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:24.000
That desire.
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:26.000
That passion.
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:27.000
Or that want.
00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:28.000
Right.
00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:31.000
Yeah, and and you know, think about.
00:42:31.000 --> 00:42:33.000
How you feel.
00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:36.000
When you do something for someone else.
00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:41.000
When you be, when you are of service to someone else.
00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:44.000
Money can't buy that.
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:48.000
What money can do is help you.
00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:52.000
To be of service to more people.
00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:56.000
You know so.
00:42:56.000 --> 00:43:03.000
You know, even some something small, it, you know, and even if it's a task selling lemonade.
00:43:03.000 --> 00:43:12.000
You know, and you, as you know, really lemonade. But you know you go ahead and you still came. Well, let me let me buy this.
00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:13.000
Yeah.
00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:15.000
You know a couple of lemonade, but you know, and you see that smile.
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:17.000
See that makes you feel good.
00:43:17.000 --> 00:43:20.000
So to me.
00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:22.000
Happiness.
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:23.000
And.
00:43:23.000 --> 00:43:25.000
If you want to say good.
00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:28.000
Is really all about service.
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:30.000
About helping people.
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.000
In however, whatever way.
00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:35.000
Okay.
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:36.000
And is that.
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:37.000
You do your way.
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:40.000
i i i feel I'm doing it.
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:43.000
You know my way.
00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:47.000
And that's about an appreciation we enjoy people.
00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:49.000
That appreciate us.
00:43:49.000 --> 00:43:52.000
We're doing what we do, our wants, our passion.
00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:53.000
Our desires.
00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:56.000
And helping them in some way.
00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:58.000
To be able to care.
00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:00.000
Not take care of them.
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:02.000
But they care about others.
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:03.000
And to help others.
00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:05.000
And to include others.
00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:06.000
Yeah.
00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:08.000
Because we all appreciate that right?
00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:11.000
Sure. But you know what Mark.
00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:15.000
Even if I do something for someone.
00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:17.000
And they didn't appreciate it.
00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:19.000
It's okay.
00:44:19.000 --> 00:44:20.000
You know.
00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:23.000
Because I still.
00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:30.000
You, you know, might not do anything to them again.
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:32.000
But still.
00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:34.000
That feeling is well, you know what.
00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:38.000
I did it, you know they didn't appreciate it, but I'm not going to be.
00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:41.000
Angry, or whatever.
00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:42.000
I still did it.
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:45.000
You know so because sometimes.
00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:48.000
You are of service, or you give.
00:44:48.000 --> 00:44:50.000
Well, not even subdist, I think.
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:52.000
Is more so for you.
00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:54.000
You.
00:44:54.000 --> 00:44:56.000
Than the other person.
00:44:56.000 --> 00:44:57.000
Yeah, it is.
00:44:57.000 --> 00:44:58.000
So, yeah.
00:44:58.000 --> 00:44:59.000
It, you know. Either way it could be.
00:44:59.000 --> 00:45:03.000
It can be, and but that ability, I think what you're saying, Dr. Jan.
00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:08.000
Is our own ability to accept that we did something for someone else.
00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:10.000
To appreciate ourselves.
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:13.000
Most cases the other person will appreciate it.
00:45:13.000 --> 00:45:14.000
Sometimes they don't.
00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:19.000
But then, sometimes that person doesn't know how to appreciate others.
00:45:19.000 --> 00:45:22.000
They don't have that. They've never seen it before.
00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:25.000
When someone does something for them.
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:29.000
It makes them feel lesser or awkward.
00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:30.000
Oh, I.
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:33.000
Could have showed done that.
00:45:33.000 --> 00:45:36.000
They don't appreciate when someone else.
00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:37.000
Does something.
00:45:37.000 --> 00:45:39.000
Small or large for them.
00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:40.000
Because they don't.
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:43.000
They don't know how to accept it, do they?
00:45:43.000 --> 00:45:45.000
No, you know why.
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:50.000
Because it's never happened to them.
00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:52.000
You know you could.
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:57.000
It's it's almost like someone who has been in a relationship.
00:45:57.000 --> 00:45:59.000
Or situation.
00:45:59.000 --> 00:46:01.000
Where.
00:46:01.000 --> 00:46:03.000
Nothing was ever really given to them.
00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:07.000
Maybe they feel everything was being taken from them.
00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:12.000
So what happens is when someone gives to them.
00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:14.000
There's that suspicion.
00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:18.000
Okay. They gave it to me.
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:20.000
What you know. They don't take it as a gift.
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:23.000
They take it as.
00:46:23.000 --> 00:46:25.000
Now, what do I have to do for this.
00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:27.000
Or they didn't give this to me.
00:46:27.000 --> 00:46:28.000
Oh!
00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:29.000
Umhm.
00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:30.000
Out of their heart.
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:35.000
They gave this to me because they had an ulterior motive. So it depends.
00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:39.000
They feel they owe something back in those situations.
00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:41.000
Yeah, yeah, it depends.
00:46:41.000 --> 00:46:45.000
So when we talk about things that happen.
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:48.000
You know, in in your past life, so to speak.
00:46:48.000 --> 00:46:50.000
So it depends.
00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:53.000
It depends.
00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:59.000
Well, you've done so much in your life, drain. That's why I'm so glad that we found each other.
00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:01.000
I sow.
00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:05.000
Appreciate what you're doing and what you've done, and how you're helping others.
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:14.000
But I also saw that you were crowned Miss Senior, Illinois, in 2022 congratulations. How was that.
00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:18.000
My goodness, thank you. Okay.
00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:21.000
So that was 2 years ago. I was.
00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:22.000
How I was 80.
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:23.000
So now I am 80.
00:47:23.000 --> 00:47:27.000
Which is still hard to believe. I still think you're about 39 years old.
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:28.000
You? Do. You look like it?
00:47:28.000 --> 00:47:35.000
Oh, thank you!
00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:36.000
Wow!
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:37.000
Congratulations.
00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:38.000
I celebrate 39, you know, often, but now I'm 82, and I'm just blessed.
00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:39.000
Highly.
00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:43.000
And it's it's hereditary.
00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:54.000
So, yeah, so both my my mom and my father's side.
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:55.000
Yes.
00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:56.000
Is longevity, and you know I'm I'm pushing for 102, and still, you know, have my mind. But yeah.
00:47:56.000 --> 00:47:59.000
I'm going to believe in that for you also, Dr. Chan. So.
00:47:59.000 --> 00:48:00.000
Keep it going.
00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:01.000
But thank you.
00:48:01.000 --> 00:48:03.000
I appreciate it. But a friend of mine.
00:48:03.000 --> 00:48:05.000
Say it.
00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:12.000
Have you thought about entering a con, you know, a a beauty pageant, beauty pageant, new.
00:48:12.000 --> 00:48:15.000
So, she said, but this is a Miss Senior.
00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:18.000
Illinois, America.
00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:20.000
And you really should so.
00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:23.000
She said, I'm going to Andrew. I say, well, okay.
00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:26.000
So we both entered, and I would.
00:48:26.000 --> 00:48:30.000
Congratulations. I am so glad you're doing that, because to me.
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:33.000
That speaks a lot and hope to our audience.
00:48:33.000 --> 00:48:36.000
As well as others.
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:38.000
At age, for many is a prejudice.
00:48:38.000 --> 00:48:41.000
And they look at age in a negative manner.
00:48:41.000 --> 00:48:44.000
But I know my brother is. He's 80.
00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:46.000
And he's continually going.
00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:50.000
He's always harassing me because I'm on this computer all the time.
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:51.000
Oh!
00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:57.000
He's out in his shop building and putting Tvs up and running the Internet out into a shop, running cables and.
00:48:57.000 --> 00:48:59.000
But again, air conditioning systems.
00:48:59.000 --> 00:49:00.000
And it's impressive.
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:02.000
And I said you impressed me because.
00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:06.000
That's how I want to be, and hope more and more audience.
00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:11.000
Sees that in you and people at my brother, and so many others.
00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:12.000
That.
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:16.000
80 is still just part of the journey.
00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:24.000
Yes, it is, you know you. It's it's all in here. You number one. You have to keep moving because I do work out. I eat.
00:49:24.000 --> 00:49:25.000
Excellent.
00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:26.000
I'm jealous.
00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:31.000
I did a a presentation about staying young.
00:49:31.000 --> 00:49:33.000
While you're getting older.
00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:34.000
And.
00:49:34.000 --> 00:49:36.000
Let me say this.
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:39.000
To the audience out there.
00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:42.000
It doesn't matter when they say age is a number.
00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:45.000
8 is a number is.
00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:48.000
The way you feel and what you think.
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:53.000
Just because you are a senior citizen.
00:49:53.000 --> 00:49:58.000
It it or whale seasoned.
00:49:58.000 --> 00:50:01.000
It doesn't mean that you stop that. You.
00:50:01.000 --> 00:50:02.000
No.
00:50:02.000 --> 00:50:04.000
You keep going.
00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:05.000
No matter what.
00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:08.000
I? My, so I said, it's longevity on both sides.
00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:10.000
My grandmother's cousin.
00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:12.000
Was 90.
00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:15.000
And she was sitting in a chair.
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:16.000
Lot of style.
00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:23.000
Like. I don't know if I can do that. But Lotus and she was rocking, she said, You know what Janice.
00:50:23.000 --> 00:50:29.000
I don't want you to live your life and get to my age and say.
00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:31.000
Should have.
00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:32.000
Exactly.
00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:34.000
What if I you know I should.
00:50:34.000 --> 00:50:36.000
You know.
00:50:36.000 --> 00:50:42.000
Good. What if she said I did everything I thought I wanted to do legally?
00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:50.000
Okay, see? So I am very pleased with my life, and that's what I want for you.
00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:51.000
I love hearing that.
00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:52.000
And that's what I'm doing.
00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:58.000
There's a song ideal is called Living my Life like it's golden. That's what I'm doing.
00:50:58.000 --> 00:50:59.000
I.
00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:00.000
And I'm telling all of you out there.
00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:04.000
Live your life like it's golden because it is.
00:51:04.000 --> 00:51:08.000
That is so true, and I love hearing you say that because.
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:10.000
One of the things I.
00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:15.000
I wanna, say I made up. But life is what you make it. So why not make it awesome?
00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:16.000
Yeah.
00:51:16.000 --> 00:51:21.000
If we're not doing what we enjoy, why are we doing it?
00:51:21.000 --> 00:51:22.000
Yeah.
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:24.000
What is causing us.
00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:26.000
Is it a fear?
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:29.000
FEAR. False evidence about reality.
00:51:29.000 --> 00:51:32.000
What is causing us to not do.
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:34.000
What we enjoy doing.
00:51:34.000 --> 00:51:37.000
I again. I love what you're doing.
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:40.000
I Miss America contest this Illinois contest.
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:42.000
That's beautiful!
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:43.000
I.
00:51:43.000 --> 00:51:44.000
I wish more people.
00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:47.000
Would do that. I'm not going to go for a.
00:51:47.000 --> 00:51:49.000
Handsome contest, partially, but.
00:51:49.000 --> 00:51:50.000
I.
00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:51.000
You are very hands. Come on.
00:51:51.000 --> 00:51:57.000
Oh, you were kind! Where do I write the check on? Where do I write that check? I appreciate that. But.
00:51:57.000 --> 00:52:01.000
I want to get out, and I want to do more like what I'm doing now.
00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:04.000
So when you're dealing with people.
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:07.000
Mothers and daughters especially, but others.
00:52:07.000 --> 00:52:10.000
What can you tell us? We're going down to about 8 min left now.
00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:12.000
What can you tell us that.
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:14.000
Will help us all.
00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:18.000
Achieve as you have, which is so impressive.
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:20.000
What can you tell us that.
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:21.000
Maybe could help us.
00:52:21.000 --> 00:52:26.000
Follow in your footsteps.
00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:29.000
Don't let anyone tell you.
00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:34.000
What you cannot do.
00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:37.000
And and I'll say this to young People.
00:52:37.000 --> 00:52:40.000
To middle 8 people.
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:43.000
To older people.
00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:46.000
If you really feel that you can do it.
00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:47.000
Go ahead!
00:52:47.000 --> 00:52:52.000
Don't let anyone crush your dreams.
00:52:52.000 --> 00:52:58.000
You know. Think th there's a a business coach of mine. This is.
00:52:58.000 --> 00:53:00.000
Don't think outside of the box.
00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:03.000
Think that there is no.
00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:04.000
Box.
00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:05.000
So.
00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:07.000
Who created that box.
00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:10.000
Hmm.
00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:11.000
A gap.
00:53:11.000 --> 00:53:12.000
Who created that box that people think about.
00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:13.000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:14.000
It's not my box.
00:53:14.000 --> 00:53:15.000
And.
00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:16.000
So.
00:53:16.000 --> 00:53:23.000
If you. You know your knees when you get a little older things happen. These are this, you know something. What? Keep.
00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:26.000
Going. Keep moving now, before we go.
00:53:26.000 --> 00:53:30.000
I don't know if you gotta ask me this, but.
00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:34.000
This is a shameless plug on my part.
00:53:34.000 --> 00:53:37.000
I do have a TV show.
00:53:37.000 --> 00:53:38.000
Okay.
00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:44.000
I was out of this town here. That's yes. I wanted you to color that. And it's proper road relationship matters, TV. So that's where we're gonna go.
00:53:44.000 --> 00:53:45.000
Yes.
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:47.000
One more minute, but go ahead, you go for it. I like this.
00:53:47.000 --> 00:53:48.000
You're reading my mind. I wish more people could do that.
00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:53.000
It's on. It's on every Thursday evening.
00:53:53.000 --> 00:53:54.000
It's all today.
00:53:54.000 --> 00:53:58.000
At 7 Pm. Central time, 5 o'clock.
00:53:58.000 --> 00:54:00.000
Pacific. Time.
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:05.000
So I have to do is go on Facebook matters. TV.
00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:08.000
Or you can go to my Youtube channel.
00:54:08.000 --> 00:54:11.000
Dr. Janice Looker, Fortman.
00:54:11.000 --> 00:54:22.000
You could see it there, but it's everywhere it's on. It's I have. My last analytics. For last month was 60, a little bit over 62,000 viewers.
00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:25.000
And I thank the Lord for that.
00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:28.000
And also I have a book.
00:54:28.000 --> 00:54:30.000
That is on Amazon.
00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:34.000
It's called the Secrets to how not.
00:54:34.000 --> 00:54:39.000
To throw mama from the train.
00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:40.000
And.
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:41.000
Oh, I think I've heard that before.
00:54:41.000 --> 00:54:49.000
It's all about how to navigate the challenges in the adult daughter aging mother relationship.
00:54:49.000 --> 00:54:54.000
And I like on your TV show, you talk about focusing on how the relationship.
00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:56.000
I've impacted their personal.
00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:58.000
And professional lives.
00:54:58.000 --> 00:54:59.000
Yes.
00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:01.000
Yes.
00:55:01.000 --> 00:55:02.000
I will tune into that.
00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:04.000
In other words, mark.
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:06.000
What prompted you.
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:10.000
In your personal and professional life.
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:12.000
What prompted you.
00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:14.000
In your early life.
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:19.000
And your relationships that made you decide to do what you're doing right now.
00:55:19.000 --> 00:55:23.000
That's a long story, and we can't go through all of that in 5 min.
00:55:23.000 --> 00:55:24.000
But.
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:25.000
Well, we're gonna go through it.
00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:27.000
When you're, you know, as a guest. I'm not sure.
00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:31.000
I would love to, I would be honored, but I was born.
00:55:31.000 --> 00:55:33.000
A poor deprived child, weren't we all.
00:55:33.000 --> 00:55:36.000
In Southern Mississippi.
00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:39.000
Moved out of Southern Mississippi. When I was.
00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:43.000
Between the second 3rd grade out to southeastern New Mexico.
00:55:43.000 --> 00:55:48.000
And I was seeing a lot of prejudice back then, and me being young.
00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:50.000
Did not understand it.
00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:56.000
But then, as I got older, went into a divorce.
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:57.000
Boom.
00:55:57.000 --> 00:56:03.000
I got to see another set of prejudice by our own court system.
00:56:03.000 --> 00:56:04.000
Justice, for all.
00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:11.000
No, not at all. It was a deadbeat, dad syndrome when I was there. So that impacted me.
00:56:11.000 --> 00:56:13.000
But even just before that I was an auto accident.
00:56:13.000 --> 00:56:19.000
In Hadesburg, Mississippi, where I was receiving 9 pints of blood. While I was in hospital.
00:56:19.000 --> 00:56:21.000
Where did that blood come from?
00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:26.000
It's a whole thing. It's go to love circulation. Com. It's all about.
00:56:26.000 --> 00:56:27.000
What?
00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:38.000
We all are together, so that those instances Dr. Jan brought me to where I am today, and how I want to help others understand.
00:56:38.000 --> 00:56:50.000
That there are only 4 blood types, A, BAB, and O, that matter where you are doesn't matter where you're born, raise sex, orientation, age, any of those things.
00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:52.000
If you go to the hospital.
00:56:52.000 --> 00:56:53.000
Someone else.
00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:56.000
Gave that blood is what's going to keep you alive.
00:56:56.000 --> 00:56:59.000
A, BAB, and O, you're one of those.
00:56:59.000 --> 00:57:00.000
If you're.
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:04.000
All positive you can give to positive groups. Oh, negative one.
00:57:04.000 --> 00:57:06.000
But the bottom line is, we are all the same.
00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:07.000
Yeah.
00:57:07.000 --> 00:57:08.000
So I'm sorry I'll stop right there.
00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:12.000
But that's when I go through in my speech, and that's when I go through my course.
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:14.000
We are all the same.
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:19.000
And we need to learn that that person that you were just met at are frustrated with.
00:57:19.000 --> 00:57:21.000
Maybe the one that gave blood that could help you live.
00:57:21.000 --> 00:57:22.000
Brought it.
00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:25.000
Help a family member, live, help a child, live.
00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:26.000
Because.
00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:29.000
They may have done something that made you angry.
00:57:29.000 --> 00:57:34.000
They could still be that love circulation that keeps someone, you know.
00:57:34.000 --> 00:57:35.000
And love.
00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:36.000
A lie!
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:39.000
Yes, that's beautiful. Yes.
00:57:39.000 --> 00:57:40.000
Yes, yes.
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:48.000
Thank you. I'm glad you brought that up. I didn't want to get into your show. I would not be on your show, but I don't want to get into your process and go into that story. We only have about 2 min left.
00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:50.000
So tell us, how can we get a hold of you?
00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:52.000
Who do you want to talk with.
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:54.000
How could we.
00:57:54.000 --> 00:57:59.000
If we, when we have a need. Dr. Chan, how do we contact you.
00:57:59.000 --> 00:58:03.000
Well, there are 2 ways you can contact me at.
00:58:03.000 --> 00:58:06.000
On my email.
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:10.000
They're 2 different ones. One is Jan.
00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:12.000
Number 4, now.
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:17.000
1, 2, 5 at Gmailcom. That's JN.
00:58:17.000 --> 00:58:18.000
For now.
00:58:18.000 --> 00:58:21.000
1, 2, 5 at Gmail com.
00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:24.000
You can also reach me.
00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:25.000
At.
00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:27.000
Dr. J.
00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:30.000
At Doctor Denis Fortmann.
00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:37.000
And if you feel that you need like services, improving.
00:58:37.000 --> 00:58:38.000
Your relationships.
00:58:38.000 --> 00:58:43.000
Personal and professional, improving the way you communicate.
00:58:43.000 --> 00:58:50.000
Personally and professionally. I would love to speak with you.
00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:54.000
Great Dr. Jan, thank you so much. I appreciate that.
00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:58.000
I am again honored. It's been a pleasure having you on the show.
00:58:58.000 --> 00:59:00.000
I know you and I will stay in touch. We'll keep working.
00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:07.000
If anyone here wants to get in contact with me, of course you can reach out here at the achieving unitycom.
00:59:07.000 --> 00:59:14.000
Get in touch with me. You can call me at 3, focused (303) 362-8733.
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:20.000
Let's get together. Let's talk. Let's get with Dr. Jan, with myself.
00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:22.000
Mr. Channel, and there's.
00:59:22.000 --> 00:59:27.000
Video with us today for being here. It's an awesome opportunity.
00:59:27.000 --> 00:59:29.000
Press all to reach out to others.
00:59:29.000 --> 00:59:31.000
And make life a better place.
00:59:31.000 --> 00:59:34.000
One reality at a time.
00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:35.000
Thank you all.
00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:36.000
Enjoy.
00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:37.000
Thank you.
00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:40.000
Thank you, Dr. Chan. You've you are awesome.
00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:41.000
Thank you.
00:59:41.000 --> 00:59:42.000
Thank you.
00:59:42.000 --> 00:59:43.000
Talk to you later.
00:59:43.000 --> 00:59:44.000
Already.
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:49.000
Bye, bye.
