Episode 11: Tara Woodlee

November 22, 2024

Tara Woodlee

President & CEO

Tara Woodlee is the President & CEO of Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence. Previously, she served as the Board President from 2018 - 2022.

In 2012 Tara lost her 20-year-old daughter, Ashleigh Lindsey, and her unborn granddaughter Patience Lynn to a brutal act of domestic violence that made national news. Tara shares the raw truth about domestic violence and gives audiences the opportunity to learn about the impact abuse has on families from generation to generation. Tara, also a survivor, describes the journey from victim to survivor and then the impact her story made on her family finding out thru the death of her child of a 100-year-old history of this cycle of abuse within her family. This knowledge led her to found an organization in her child and grandchild’s honor called the Ashleigh’s Patience Project. Through the pain, Tara has fought courts and is working to raise awareness and change laws not just across the nation but worldwide. Tara told Ashleigh’s story on Investigation’s Discovery Channel (Your Worst Nightmare) and was featured in an article in Cosmopolitan Magazine called Stop Calling It Domestic Violence It’s Intimate Terrorism, in the US.

The U.K. shared her tragic loss in magazines untitled Pick Me Up and Full House. Lastly, Ashleigh’s story is used in the Moving Forward resource that is to help young women identify the signs of domestic violence in their current or future relationships in Queensland Australia. Tara travels the country as a national speaker and Tara’s role in activism has been recognized through the Awarding of the Presidents Lifetime Service Award 2021.

Episode Transcript

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Mark Entrekin: Hello, everyone! My name is Mark Intrakin. With the

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Mark Entrekin: looking into achieving unity.

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Mark Entrekin: harnessing the power of encouraging, inspiring, and including others, is all about ending anger, hate, and prejudice on the screen. Right now you will see my achieving unity guide, which is available to everyone.

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Mark Entrekin: and

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Mark Entrekin: please reach out there and get that get signed up on my newsletter, and we'll connect

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Mark Entrekin: work together in this process

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Mark Entrekin: again, creating solutions. One reality at a time.

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Mark Entrekin: Want to be able to transform our world into the world that we want it to be.

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Mark Entrekin: And the way it can be with us all working together.

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Mark Entrekin: And as I mentioned. It's achieving unity through encouragement, inspiration, and inclusion. These are just a few of the things that I do through reality focus dynamics. And that, of course, is working through you in the process.

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Mark Entrekin: We all must work together.

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Mark Entrekin: One small portion of that is our excellent guest today, which I'll introduce in a few minutes.

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Mark Entrekin: It's all about joining together to end the violence that's out there. Let's all work together to create high value. Solutions

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Mark Entrekin: through the possibilities are in front of us.

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Mark Entrekin: The the achieving Unity Weekly podcast is every Thursday throughout the end of 2024.

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Mark Entrekin: If it's not a Us. Holiday

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Mark Entrekin: for thanksgiving, there will not be a broadcast. We will not have a guest who will not take them away from their family on the thanksgiving in the Us.

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Mark Entrekin: But

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Mark Entrekin: we will have a we will have a meeting the next week. Just take that one off.

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Mark Entrekin: And also we are going to move to Wednesday, starting January 2025.

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Mark Entrekin: As of the New Year, I will be having courses on Thursdays.

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Mark Entrekin: So we're going to move the podcast to Wednesdays. It'll be at the same time one pm. Pacific. Time, 4 pm. Eastern time. But we are going to move one day earlier

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Mark Entrekin: now from reality. Focus dynamics, as you can see in the logo in the top right.

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Mark Entrekin: we go to the success focused solutions that we create

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Mark Entrekin: please contact us for more information today on things such as using agile

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Mark Entrekin: and lean. Outside of the software. A lot of

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Mark Entrekin: people don't understand what that is. It's more on the engineering side.

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Mark Entrekin: But the philosophy can be used in every discipline, every vertical, including our home.

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Mark Entrekin: Agile, is the ability to create and respond to change, enabling success in an uncertain and possibly struggling environment by emphasizing adaptability through better collaboration and communication.

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Mark Entrekin: and I think we all know that collaboration and communication are the keys that open every door that we go through towards success.

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Mark Entrekin: Lean is a methodology focused on maximizing value by minimizing waste.

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Mark Entrekin: And it, we're about, it's about optimizing our processes through continuous process improvement.

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Mark Entrekin: effectiveness and efficiency. So that's 1 of the things that we do on the business or corporate side. But it also works in the home.

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Mark Entrekin: Connect with me, and I'll show you how to break all products and services down from the most complex business project to the basic steps of training our teenagers. Yes, I have worked on rocket ships.

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Mark Entrekin: and I have 2 children.

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Mark Entrekin: So think of a busy morning at a family breakfast.

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Mark Entrekin: Everyone has somewhere to go from work

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Mark Entrekin: to school to many other locations.

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Mark Entrekin: Why don't we have a family stand-up meeting each evening, where everyone shares their task for the next day?

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Mark Entrekin: Use sticky notes with chores and responsibilities placed on the refrigerator.

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Mark Entrekin: Each person can move their note from the to do that they put together that night to done. The next morning

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Mark Entrekin: you could even create a breakfast station with pre-portioned ingredients and a weekly meal plan

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Mark Entrekin: that minimize decision, fatigue and reduce time, reduce time spent searching for items

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Mark Entrekin: can help everyone in the family or on the most complex team to join in on a smoother and more efficient process.

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Mark Entrekin: Second, one thing we do, and we'll talk a little bit about this today

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Mark Entrekin: achieving unity through encouragement, inspiration, and inclusion. I can't say those words enough.

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Mark Entrekin: because when we think about Dei, we could accomplish more through ei encouragement, inspiration, and inclusion.

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Mark Entrekin: We want to have that diversity and equity and inclusion

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Mark Entrekin: in the process which is your Dei.

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Mark Entrekin: But all comes about. Encouragement is the powerful force that lies at the heart of empowerment.

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Mark Entrekin: Encouragement is the powerful force that lies at the heart of empowerment.

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Mark Entrekin: Our unity makes us a successful team

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Mark Entrekin: inspiring each other to reach every goal.

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Mark Entrekin: What person or what goal do you know that didn't take more than one person.

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Mark Entrekin: Edison admitted electricity, but he had a lot of people helping him, just like so many others

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Mark Entrekin: together we can overcome challenges to inclusion and celebrate every victory, both personally and professionally. And it's amazing how much those 2 can tie together.

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Mark Entrekin: And sometimes we take our personal situations into our office.

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Mark Entrekin: Sometimes we bring our office situations into our home.

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Mark Entrekin: We can work together to eliminate that entire.

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Mark Entrekin: controlling, troublesome nature.

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Mark Entrekin: Are you facing relationship challenges or parenting difficulties?

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Mark Entrekin: Are you or someone, you know, struggling with relationship issues are parenting. Time issues as a divorce or divorcing parenting.

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Mark Entrekin: We can transform that frustration into understanding with what the

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Mark Entrekin: frustration, where in the world

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Mark Entrekin: is the value

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Mark Entrekin: in our actions. We have to think about that.

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Mark Entrekin: And there's all levels of anger that we go through that we need to eliminate. We must learn that anger, a, NGER. Holds no value.

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Mark Entrekin: Anger is just actions not gaining effective results.

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Mark Entrekin: We need to learn that and practice that anger is just actions not gaining effective results, no matter how small your anger may be or how big it may be, there are still no effective results from that.

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Mark Entrekin: So from personal relationships

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Mark Entrekin: to prenuptial agreements, nuptial, not required because there's a lot of people not getting married any longer.

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Mark Entrekin: But life happens.

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Mark Entrekin: Let's learn to embrace and enjoy every moment that we have together.

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Mark Entrekin: If you have your phone handy, you can always go see me at my website home

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Mark Entrekin: here on the left.

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Mark Entrekin: I go to my website, Contact Page and send me questions with the QR. Code on the right.

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Mark Entrekin: Get in touch with me. Let's talk.

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Mark Entrekin: Let's create solutions, one reality at a time.

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Mark Entrekin: As I said, this is a weekly.

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Mark Entrekin: Podcast it comes up every Thursday right now, through the end of 2024

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Mark Entrekin: next week on November 21st is our national play day with Dad.

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Mark Entrekin: working with all parents, but especially fathers and dads that may not have had a parent, the father figure, especially when they were growing up.

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Mark Entrekin: So we're helping the father, making sure that they know that

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Mark Entrekin: it is awesome to be a father. And even if you're a single parent.

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Mark Entrekin: mother, or father at time with the children is so important

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Mark Entrekin: to mention. Earlier 1128 is Thanksgiving

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Mark Entrekin: in the us. There will be no live podcast we will skip to the next week, which is 12, 5,

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Mark Entrekin: and we'll talk about black awareness.

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Mark Entrekin: the abolition of slavery.

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Mark Entrekin: What happened then? What happened now, and what are our next steps? How can we all gather together? We talk to the awareness

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Mark Entrekin: of Hispanic Hispanics of the Spanish.

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Mark Entrekin: We worked on that just a couple weeks ago. We talked about that had a wonderful time in showing what we could do working tomorrow.

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Mark Entrekin: and then on 1212. We're going to be talking about human Rights Day.

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Mark Entrekin: This is international.

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Mark Entrekin: It's called Unesco.

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Mark Entrekin: So humans right day for around the world.

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Mark Entrekin: the week after that we're going to be talking. That will be on 1217 about kindness.

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Mark Entrekin: and how we can make the holiday period good for everyone. Please join us each week.

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Mark Entrekin: Today we have a special guest.

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Mark Entrekin: This is an awesome situation.

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Mark Entrekin: The person who has gone through

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Mark Entrekin: a very traumatic

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Mark Entrekin: ordeal.

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Mark Entrekin: but is able to share that with us

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Mark Entrekin: and help us learn how we can help each other

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Mark Entrekin: in ending

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Mark Entrekin: anchor

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Mark Entrekin: domestic violence all around the world.

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Mark Entrekin: Tara Woodley, President, and CEO

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Mark Entrekin: break the silence against domestic violence. Again, that's break the silence against domestic violence.

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Mark Entrekin: Previously she served as Board President from 2,018 to 2022.

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Mark Entrekin: But the sad

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Mark Entrekin: story is that Tara lost her 20 year old daughter, Ashley Lindsey

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Mark Entrekin: and her unborn granddaughter, Patience Lynn.

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Mark Entrekin: to a brutal act of domestic violence that made national news.

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Mark Entrekin: Tara's going to share that raw truth about domestic violence

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Mark Entrekin: and allow our audiences, each of us.

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Mark Entrekin: to learn about the impact

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Mark Entrekin: that abuse has on families from generation to generation.

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Mark Entrekin: If you notice from the bottom right? You also see the website.

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Mark Entrekin: the breakthestilencedv.org

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Mark Entrekin: go out there after the

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Mark Entrekin: podcast today and learn more

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Mark Entrekin: for now

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Mark Entrekin: let me get away. Get out of this screen.

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Mark Entrekin: it stop sharing

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Mark Entrekin: and let me bring in. Miss Tara, Woodley.

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Mark Entrekin: okay, give me just a second. Let me try that pinning here.

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Mark Entrekin: spotlight you for everyone.

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Mark Entrekin: Okay, I think we are ready.

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Mark Entrekin: Tara, how are you today? Tell us how things are going.

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Tara Woodlee: Well, things sometimes. It's 1 day at a time, but things are fairly good today. So I thank you for having me on to talk about this subject. It's really near and dear to my heart. So.

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Mark Entrekin: it's very! It's an honor for us. I

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Mark Entrekin: cannot tell you

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Mark Entrekin: how hurt I am to

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Mark Entrekin: even just think about what you have gone through.

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Mark Entrekin: and the impact on you, your family, and on others. My heart truly reaches out to you.

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Mark Entrekin: Would you mind telling us a little bit more about

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Mark Entrekin: what happened, and maybe how

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Mark Entrekin: did that is that part of your journey that got you to where you are today?

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Tara Woodlee: Yeah, absolutely. And

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Tara Woodlee: so actually, you know, my story kind of begins, you know, with myself.

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Tara Woodlee: because I am a survivor of domestic violence. The man I was married to, that I had children with. We had incidences for 13 years throughout our marriage, and the kids saw that.

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Tara Woodlee: and it had reached a point where I did leave and divorced. And

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Tara Woodlee: you know the children were young. They were, you know, Preteen, the teenagers, and

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Tara Woodlee: Ashley, my youngest daughter have 2 daughters, Ashley, my youngest daughter, was very impacted by it, because during the divorce there actually was an incident between her and her father as well

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Tara Woodlee: where his he had put his hands on her.

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Tara Woodlee: And

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Tara Woodlee: it really impacted her

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Tara Woodlee: way that I just did not really see through her teen years.

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Tara Woodlee: She was a very strong willed child.

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Tara Woodlee: and she made exceptionally good grades.

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Tara Woodlee: She was, you know, the lead in all the school plays. She sang in church. She made straight. A's it it, you know. She she

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Tara Woodlee: she was in the top one percentile in the nation for her math skills even and got an award from the President over it as well. So

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Tara Woodlee: level.

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Tara Woodlee: Look good.

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Tara Woodlee: When I remarried the man I remarried became their father. They called him dad. It was

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Tara Woodlee: a very good relationship between him and the girl. So on that level everything looked great.

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Tara Woodlee: And I really didn't think because the girls were old enough to understand what happened, and stuff we had to have like real discussions, right about

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Tara Woodlee: what what had happened and what went on, and I thought I had improved their lives.

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Tara Woodlee: and we were heading in this wonderful direction. But

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Tara Woodlee: in the background, you know, hindsight is always 2020.

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Tara Woodlee: Ashley was struggling in relationships in a way that

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Tara Woodlee: at the time I thought was kind of, you know. Actually, I was giving her credit for because she would not be in relationships long.

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Tara Woodlee: She would, but it was always some kind of excuse. He called me ugly

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Tara Woodlee: he. He tried to tell me what to wear, so she broke it off, and I thought, Oh, good!

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Tara Woodlee: She did get the point right, but at the same time

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Tara Woodlee: I don't think I conversed enough with her about

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Tara Woodlee: what to look for. That was healthy, you know, along those lines. And

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Tara Woodlee: by the time she hit 19

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Tara Woodlee: she had started to date more and venture out, and

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Tara Woodlee: she met a young man, Joshua Mahaffey, and he's about 9 years older than her.

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Mark Entrekin: Wow!

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Tara Woodlee: And he said all the right things. He kinda it. It definitely targeted her

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Tara Woodlee: because

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Tara Woodlee: I think what she felt at the time, because we did have some conversations before she passed.

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Tara Woodlee: Was she was trying to find the love and accept that she didn't get from her biological father

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Tara Woodlee: with this young man who seemed so much like him like she could. She felt like she could fix him.

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Tara Woodlee: She thought she could fix the relationship.

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Tara Woodlee: She was saying similar things to it like I said in my relationship. Oh, he has potential, you know, because we're I was 19, too, you know, and

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Tara Woodlee: you know, and

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Tara Woodlee: I don't think she really knew what she was in for cause. He moved her very fast.

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Tara Woodlee: He! He moved that relationship so fast and moved her out of the house so quickly.

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Tara Woodlee: I think she was just swept up in the whole thing of being in love for the 1st time, for real

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Tara Woodlee: on her part.

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Mark Entrekin: Right.

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Tara Woodlee: And so it just.

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Tara Woodlee: He moved her about an hour and a half away. And this is the child who called and talked to me every day, and

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Tara Woodlee: I was beginning to notice problems.

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Tara Woodlee: Her phone was mysteriously breaking several times and we own the phone. So we were the one replacing it.

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Tara Woodlee: and

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Tara Woodlee: all of a sudden she was

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Tara Woodlee: saying, you know certain things that we're drawing up red flags. They were fighting a lot. They were drinking a lot. They were partying a lot. And

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Tara Woodlee: you know, you kind of think in those early years. Oh, well, they're gonna experience some of that. You're gonna they're gonna do that

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Tara Woodlee: on some levels. But he was way older than her.

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Tara Woodlee: So.

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Mark Entrekin: Was it 9 years.

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Tara Woodlee: 9 years 9 years older.

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Tara Woodlee: and

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Tara Woodlee: she moved in with him, but he also had a best friend and the best friends, the one who hooked him up. Actually she where Ashley worked

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Tara Woodlee: school with the both named Josh. So I'll the friend I'll call Scott. That's his last name. She met Scott first, st

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Tara Woodlee: and he introduced the 2 of them together because they worked together.

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Tara Woodlee: and Scott lived with them as a roommate, so she was there, and they were, kinda, you know, doing their thing. But these little things kept popping up

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Tara Woodlee: and.

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Mark Entrekin: Just as little things kept popping up.

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Tara Woodlee: The cell phones and.

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Mark Entrekin: The broken cell phone and.

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Tara Woodlee: Broken cell phones and the constant fighting

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Tara Woodlee: her just constantly crying all the time. And I was like, this is just not a you know.

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Tara Woodlee: I wasn't thinking along the lines of abuse. But I was thinking, this just isn't gonna be a good relationship for her if you're only in it at 3 months, and you're already having all this turmoil right?

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Tara Woodlee: And

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Tara Woodlee: I guess it was. Let me think she'd been in the relationship for about 4 months.

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Tara Woodlee: and his birthday happens to be the same as my birthday.

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Tara Woodlee: and the oldest, the oldest daughter's been dating this man for a long time, and she's getting serious. And Ashley Smith.

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Tara Woodlee: Josh and I said, Well, all I wanted for my birthday is the kids and their loved ones to be together. We'll go eat. So we went out on Saint Patrick's day and

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Tara Woodlee: had dinner and went bowling, and he proposed to her

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Tara Woodlee: right there at the bowling alley. And that's when my husband and I were like really going. Whoa! You're 4 months together, and you're proposing to her and

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Tara Woodlee: the it. Something is seriously wrong here, cause this is just moving way too fast.

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Tara Woodlee: And we were right.

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Tara Woodlee: On my birthday

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Tara Woodlee: at night I get a phone call from Ashley, and she has locked herself in a bathroom.

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Tara Woodlee: and she's drunk, and she's at a friend, some party at a some friend's house, and she don't know where she is, and she don't know the address.

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Tara Woodlee: and she's crying because he put a cigarette out in her face.

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Mark Entrekin: Oh, you're kidding.

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Tara Woodlee: No.

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Tara Woodlee: and it it's the most horrific thing for a parent to like. You want to get your child help, and you can't. She doesn't even know where she is

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Tara Woodlee: to try to get her that help.

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Tara Woodlee: And all of a sudden he's calling me on the other line.

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Tara Woodlee: So I told her. He's calling me. I'm gonna talk to him. I thought maybe I could get something out of him.

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Tara Woodlee: and of course he just made excuses. We're drunk. I flicked the cigarette at her. I didn't. I didn't mean to hurt her. He made all kinds of excuses, and

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Tara Woodlee: I could not get out of them where they were. I didn't know what was going on.

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Tara Woodlee: and then Ashley calls me back and goes, mom, you know he's right. He just flipped it at me.

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Tara Woodlee: It's gonna be okay. We're gonna go home. We're just drunk.

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Tara Woodlee: And in the back of my mind I went. Nope.

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Tara Woodlee: no, I know this game. I lived. This, you know, kind of thing, this scenario. So I told her. I said, no, you guys need to come to my house, you know, tomorrow, for the weekend. I want to see you. I wanna see you're okay.

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Tara Woodlee: And they did.

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Tara Woodlee: And my husband and I kind of divided the children up, you know, and he talked to Josh and told him, Look, I don't care what you did. Don't put your hands on my daughter again. Don't do anything.

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Tara Woodlee: I talked with Ashley, her sister and I talked to her, and

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Tara Woodlee: she was like

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Tara Woodlee: trying to maintain that line, that excuse. But we weren't having it. We knew better.

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Tara Woodlee: And she she went ahead and went home with them.

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Tara Woodlee: And

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Tara Woodlee: it was just very

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Tara Woodlee: we went into that mode of okay. We know what we're dealing with now. So how do we start preparing her? Her sister and I and my husband did

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Tara Woodlee: so.

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Tara Woodlee: She's a

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Tara Woodlee: a month later she's pregnant.

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Tara Woodlee: and she lets us know that she's pregnant because he took her birth control from her.

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Tara Woodlee: What do you mean?

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Mark Entrekin: You wanted her friend.

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Tara Woodlee: He wanted her pregnant. He wanted her pregnant.

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Tara Woodlee: He took her birth control and got rid of it, and so she ended up pregnant.

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Tara Woodlee: and

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Tara Woodlee: she was. She was happy about having the baby, but you know I was very concerned at that point, and you start questioning. He had been married twice before her

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Tara Woodlee: and had children.

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Tara Woodlee: and the children weren't allowed to see him. So I'm like, yes, there's definitely some big flags going on here

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Tara Woodlee: that. We're not aware of.

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Tara Woodlee: and

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Tara Woodlee: she ended up pregnant. And then she ended up

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Tara Woodlee: With several incidents where Josh had been in fights before, when he was younger, and had seizures because he had been.

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Tara Woodlee: from what he told us, and including his mother, he had been hit in the head with a pipe

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Tara Woodlee: during an argument when he's 18

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Tara Woodlee: with another young man, and it caused him to have seizures. He had to re learn how to talk and walk

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Tara Woodlee: well. He always used the seizures as an excuse with Ashley. So in the background he was slapping her and

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Tara Woodlee: and abusing her physically, and then he would say, he wouldn't remember because of these seizures.

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Tara Woodlee: So.

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Mark Entrekin: Definitely a medical situation and.

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Tara Woodlee: Yeah.

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Mark Entrekin: You'd right.

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Tara Woodlee: Right.

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Mark Entrekin: Ago.

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Tara Woodlee: Right.

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Tara Woodlee: and that came to a head with. She called us crying, saying he had a seizure, but he destroyed her truck. During the seizure. He busted her windshield and she had him in the hospital. And

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Tara Woodlee: of course you know his mother was there, and we're finding out. She's done telling us he's been slapping her

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Tara Woodlee: and getting physical, and that's.

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Mark Entrekin: His mother told you that he had been slapping her.

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Tara Woodlee: And he.

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Mark Entrekin: You hadn't.

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Tara Woodlee: And she had, and she had been there. And so we ended up having again my husband and I trying to have a talk with all the parties going. This is not right.

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Tara Woodlee: Use.

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Mark Entrekin: Spoke with authorities. Help me out there! What do you? What are you saying?

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Tara Woodlee: No like

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Tara Woodlee: heather, and him

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Tara Woodlee: with Ashley and Josh because she wasn't gonna record anything. She wasn't. And

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Tara Woodlee: at that point. And I told her, I said, you know what this is. You saw your father and I go through this. Don't do this with you and your baby. Don't do this.

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Tara Woodlee: and Josh's mom looked at me and said.

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Tara Woodlee: if your daughter wasn't so mouthy she wouldn't get slapped.

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Tara Woodlee: she sure did.

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Tara Woodlee: and that's when I knew my daughter was in real trouble. I had to make a real plan here. This was way more than what

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Tara Woodlee: we even expected.

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Tara Woodlee: Still, actually.

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Mark Entrekin: Imagine what that would be like.

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Tara Woodlee: Yeah, Ashley said. Well, they're gonna go to church. They're gonna get

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Tara Woodlee: counseling.

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Tara Woodlee: I don't even know to this day, if it was true or not, she said. They went a couple of times, so I'm figuring they did

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Tara Woodlee: go to maybe church a couple times, but

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Tara Woodlee: it. Finally it headed up. At 1 point. She came home

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Tara Woodlee: and left him around mother's day.

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Tara Woodlee: and I was very happy about that, but

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Tara Woodlee: he showed up at our house with his roommate and tried to bust in our door, and we called the

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Tara Woodlee: police.

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Mark Entrekin: Good.

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Tara Woodlee: And the police came and they took off, and nothing happened.

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Mark Entrekin: Help me out with nothing happened. This is, I'm sorry to put you on the spot on some of these.

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Tara Woodlee: John, you're fine.

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Mark Entrekin: We

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Mark Entrekin: talk about our police officers, and there are 20% of anything that is not what we want to be. There's a 20% extreme and everything that we do. But there's 80% of police officers and people and

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Mark Entrekin: even lawyers that are good. They are good people. But there's always the 20% that are not, and they need to come up more about the ones that are not. When you said nothing happened.

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Tara Woodlee: Came and took an incident report.

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Tara Woodlee: and that was it. They did not even inform us to try to go get a

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Tara Woodlee: restraining order or protective order.

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Mark Entrekin: So follow an assault.

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Tara Woodlee: No fall. Nope, nothing.

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Tara Woodlee: nothing. And they just said, Well, we'll watch this area in case they come back.

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Tara Woodlee: And that was the end of that incident.

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Tara Woodlee: That's where it ended.

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Tara Woodlee: Okay.

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Tara Woodlee: And she a couple 2 days later, of course, he

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Tara Woodlee: got a hold of her through Facebook messenger

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Tara Woodlee: and tried to tell her. He told her he'd had another seizure.

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Tara Woodlee: He had passed out in a ditch. He was in the hospital dying, and she felt bad and went back to him.

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Tara Woodlee: So we dealt with that, you know. I told her. I said. You know you can. You can go back. But you know.

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Tara Woodlee: darling, what you're dealing with here. We know what this is. Please do not go back, I said, but I will tell you.

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Tara Woodlee: You're in danger.

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Tara Woodlee: You're endangering yourself. You're endangering that baby, and you are always welcome here. But that young man is not welcome here.

326
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Tara Woodlee: and she said, I understand.

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Tara Woodlee: and

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Tara Woodlee: 2 weeks later he called me wondering where she is.

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Tara Woodlee: and I was like, oh, thank you, Jesus! She left him. He's looking for, and I'm like so elated

330
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Tara Woodlee: I thought I'd hear from her and all for 2 whole days all I kept hearing was him.

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Tara Woodlee: and I'm like

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Tara Woodlee: you have.

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Mark Entrekin: Reported to the police, or anything at this time, or.

334
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Tara Woodlee: Had talked to them. But she's not considered a missing person for 48 h, and we know this drill somewhat, because my husband is an ex corrections officer.

335
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Tara Woodlee: and he also did some work for the Doj. So we kind of know what the procedures are. And

336
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Tara Woodlee: I'm kind of thinking maybe she's just hanging out of a friend's house, and she'll contact me. But after 2 days he said this one comment that just really threw me, because he said they lived off near a lake. They were in a lake community, he said. Why don't you come over here and help me check the lake.

337
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Tara Woodlee: Maybe she's in the lake.

338
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Tara Woodlee: and I was.

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Mark Entrekin: He said. Maybe she's in the lake.

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Tara Woodlee: he did. And I thought, Oh, Lord, he has killed her. He hadn't at that point. But I thought he had with that kind of a comment, and we called them, and they issued

341
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Tara Woodlee: a bolo alert

342
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Tara Woodlee: for her.

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Mark Entrekin: And a Bolo alert is.

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Tara Woodlee: Is, is basically like a missing, endangered person, alert. Okay.

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Tara Woodlee: For adults. It's like an amber alert for adults. And

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Tara Woodlee: we we went on another 48 h journey of

347
00:29:14.960 --> 00:29:20.750
Tara Woodlee: looking for her, searching for her, the press coming, putting her picture out.

348
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Tara Woodlee: looking for her.

349
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Tara Woodlee: and finally.

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Tara Woodlee: on the 5th day, she called me early that morning. Friday morning she called me because she didn't know any of that was happening in the background. She was hiding on a friend.

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Tara Woodlee: and

352
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Tara Woodlee: she had gone up to Josh's mom's employer

353
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Tara Woodlee: to give her Josh's debit card. She had Josh's debit card in her possession, and she didn't want to get in trouble.

354
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Tara Woodlee: and she didn't want the law to come after, or any. She was trying to be sure he had that, so that he didn't have an excuse right.

355
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Mark Entrekin: Right.

356
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Tara Woodlee: And his mother's like everyone's looking for you, you know you you

357
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Tara Woodlee: you're all over the news. And so she called me and I said, Okay, baby, but I can't take a below alert off of you.

358
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Tara Woodlee: An officer has to see you now to take that off.

359
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Mark Entrekin: Be on the lookout. I think that's.

360
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Tara Woodlee: Yeah.

361
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Mark Entrekin: Score.

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Tara Woodlee: Yes, yes.

363
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Tara Woodlee: and

364
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Tara Woodlee: So she.

365
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Tara Woodlee: We have to call an officer out, and we're about an hour and a half away, like I said, and she said, Okay.

366
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Tara Woodlee: and her dad got on phone and had an officer meet up with her, and I stayed on the phone with her. And

367
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Tara Woodlee: the officer, after she was speaking to him, which I heard everything. I asked to talk to Officer.

368
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Tara Woodlee: and she was beat up pretty bad.

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Tara Woodlee: and that's what he he was like. She's got bruising really bad.

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Mark Entrekin: Okay. Now this begins a couple of days later.

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Mark Entrekin: Right? She hasn't been saying.

372
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Tara Woodlee: 5, 5 days after she left.

373
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Mark Entrekin: And she still has bruises, or she hasn't seen for 5 days, and these bruises are still there. 5 days later.

374
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Tara Woodlee: Significant bruising.

375
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Tara Woodlee: and

376
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Tara Woodlee: he said, We're going to file charges.

377
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Tara Woodlee: That's when he explained to her how she can go get a protective order. But since it was a Friday.

378
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Tara Woodlee: and the judge was out that she may have to wait till Monday to be able to get that

379
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Tara Woodlee: and

380
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Tara Woodlee: yeah. And I said, Well, I'm gonna come to you cause I have to see you.

381
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Tara Woodlee: And I I drove to her and she was she told me what had happened.

382
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Tara Woodlee: She went to leave, and he would not let her leave.

383
00:31:53.690 --> 00:31:55.600
Tara Woodlee: He! He!

384
00:31:56.010 --> 00:32:01.360
Tara Woodlee: He shook her around, he drug her around by her hair. He put her head through a wall.

385
00:32:01.750 --> 00:32:05.089
Tara Woodlee: She had bruises all up and down, her arms.

386
00:32:05.515 --> 00:32:12.640
Tara Woodlee: bruising all over her stomach, because once she was down he was kicking her in the stomach, telling her she wasn't leaving without that baby.

387
00:32:14.180 --> 00:32:17.539
Tara Woodlee: you know she she wasn't gonna leave and have that baby.

388
00:32:17.640 --> 00:32:18.720
Tara Woodlee: And

389
00:32:18.760 --> 00:32:25.490
Tara Woodlee: then he drove her, took her into the bedroom. 90. The fight that incident happened a week

390
00:32:25.930 --> 00:32:30.599
Tara Woodlee: before then. So now we're talking. Actually, the incident was 7 days.

391
00:32:30.950 --> 00:32:31.910
Mark Entrekin: Wow!

392
00:32:31.910 --> 00:32:37.170
Tara Woodlee: He took her into the bedroom and tied her up for the weekend.

393
00:32:37.890 --> 00:32:40.840
Tara Woodlee: and she had rope burns on her arms

394
00:32:42.090 --> 00:32:48.070
Tara Woodlee: and left her. There was him, and the roommate Scott, who saw all of it.

395
00:32:48.930 --> 00:32:51.480
Tara Woodlee: went out partying the weekend.

396
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:52.910
Tara Woodlee: and left.

397
00:32:52.910 --> 00:32:54.780
Mark Entrekin: Left her tied up

398
00:32:55.030 --> 00:32:57.519
Mark Entrekin: at home. They went.

399
00:32:59.300 --> 00:33:00.829
Tara Woodlee: And they went partying.

400
00:33:02.520 --> 00:33:04.780
Tara Woodlee: and when he came home

401
00:33:04.870 --> 00:33:09.480
Tara Woodlee: Ashley said, Mom, I had to pretend with him because he told me

402
00:33:09.730 --> 00:33:16.680
Tara Woodlee: the only way he'd untie me is if we got back together. And he wanted proof, and proof was relations.

403
00:33:17.900 --> 00:33:25.419
Tara Woodlee: and she said she had to pretend, in order to get untied. So not only do we have that, but now we're talking about, you know.

404
00:33:25.900 --> 00:33:27.160
Tara Woodlee: sexual assault.

405
00:33:27.390 --> 00:33:30.209
Tara Woodlee: because that's what that is. He coerced it.

406
00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:33.470
Tara Woodlee: and

407
00:33:33.890 --> 00:33:40.270
Tara Woodlee: she was very. I wanted to bring her home again, and she was very, very animate about she wasn't coming home

408
00:33:40.990 --> 00:33:46.030
Tara Woodlee: because he had threatened to that. He was going to kill me and her sister.

409
00:33:46.120 --> 00:33:49.169
Tara Woodlee: and would rape us in front of her

410
00:33:50.710 --> 00:33:52.019
Tara Woodlee: if she came home.

411
00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:54.399
Tara Woodlee: and she believed him.

412
00:33:54.420 --> 00:33:56.310
Tara Woodlee: She said, He will do it.

413
00:33:57.170 --> 00:34:01.309
Tara Woodlee: You do not understand this man and who I'm dealing with.

414
00:34:02.850 --> 00:34:11.820
Tara Woodlee: And so we made arrangements, and she stayed with different friends. She went and got an emergency protective order.

415
00:34:11.909 --> 00:34:14.799
Tara Woodlee: We put charges through the system.

416
00:34:14.880 --> 00:34:20.769
Tara Woodlee: She started counseling and services through the Crisis Center

417
00:34:23.130 --> 00:34:25.900
Tara Woodlee: so we were doing everything by the book.

418
00:34:25.909 --> 00:34:27.449
Mark Entrekin: It sounds like it. Yes.

419
00:34:27.799 --> 00:34:31.989
Tara Woodlee: At this point. We were doing everything by the book for her.

420
00:34:33.089 --> 00:34:33.789
Tara Woodlee: and

421
00:34:34.899 --> 00:34:43.099
Tara Woodlee: was a month and a half of hell because she's hiding from him. He's looking for her. We're looking for him.

422
00:34:43.689 --> 00:34:49.009
Tara Woodlee: And it came full circle on the 4th of July, in 2012

423
00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:54.009
Tara Woodlee: he had figured out where she was and where she was working, cause she went and got a new job.

424
00:34:55.169 --> 00:34:59.929
Tara Woodlee: and he started calling her work, threatening to kill everybody there.

425
00:35:00.219 --> 00:35:02.929
Tara Woodlee: So the police came and did more charges.

426
00:35:04.810 --> 00:35:09.279
Mark Entrekin: They did not keep him in custody or anything. He's making threats.

427
00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:13.730
Tara Woodlee: He's calling. He's calling and making threats. He's calling

428
00:35:15.890 --> 00:35:18.560
Tara Woodlee: He's telling her what she's wearing

429
00:35:20.010 --> 00:35:23.189
Tara Woodlee: wherever she is, and calling and threatening

430
00:35:23.830 --> 00:35:40.620
Tara Woodlee: during one of the incidences the police officer showed up to take another report, and he called while the officer was there, and the officer is trying to convince him. Hey, man, I see. Come, tell me your side of the story. He's trying to hoax, Josh, but Josh has been through the system.

431
00:35:41.310 --> 00:35:47.489
Tara Woodlee: because at this point we have found out when Ashley went to go get her 1st protective order.

432
00:35:47.550 --> 00:35:50.370
Tara Woodlee: that we had to pop for the emergency one.

433
00:35:50.530 --> 00:35:56.440
Tara Woodlee: that Ashley was Number 8 out of a list of women he had assaulted and abused

434
00:35:56.890 --> 00:35:57.890
Tara Woodlee: 8.

435
00:35:57.890 --> 00:35:59.370
Mark Entrekin: Number 8.

436
00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:05.940
Tara Woodlee: And he had been the prison for the 1st wife. What he had done to her.

437
00:36:07.430 --> 00:36:13.070
Mark Entrekin: And the police department knew about this in their review and exploration of

438
00:36:13.370 --> 00:36:14.130
Mark Entrekin: Yes.

439
00:36:14.690 --> 00:36:15.460
Mark Entrekin: yeah.

440
00:36:16.570 --> 00:36:28.979
Tara Woodlee: So we we even had one woman when Ashley filed the initial emergency protective order set when said, Who are you filing against? And she said Josh's name, she goes. Oh, well, you should have known.

441
00:36:29.180 --> 00:36:33.850
Tara Woodlee: Well, Ashley didn't live in that community. She didn't know Josh. How would she know?

442
00:36:34.910 --> 00:36:40.860
Tara Woodlee: And so that community was very aware of who he was, what he was.

443
00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:47.149
Tara Woodlee: and we were just floored because we didn't live in that area. We didn't know.

444
00:36:48.190 --> 00:36:49.480
Tara Woodlee: So

445
00:36:49.530 --> 00:37:02.140
Tara Woodlee: you know, there was no shelter in that area. But the police officers are like, you know, being there being consistent. They're coming out. They're taking reports they're following with the courts. And we're thinking we're trying to protect her as much as possible.

446
00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:07.470
Tara Woodlee: But it just got so bad to the point that the Da has a

447
00:37:07.650 --> 00:37:11.350
Tara Woodlee: that area special domestic violence advocate

448
00:37:11.850 --> 00:37:14.749
Tara Woodlee: who called me and said.

449
00:37:15.693 --> 00:37:20.500
Tara Woodlee: I really would like to talk with Ashley because we weren't giving her number to anybody at that point.

450
00:37:20.740 --> 00:37:23.910
Tara Woodlee: and this is just getting too dangerous.

451
00:37:25.430 --> 00:37:26.720
Tara Woodlee: He's threatening.

452
00:37:26.720 --> 00:37:30.240
Mark Entrekin: The advocate from the attorneys, the one calling you about this.

453
00:37:30.240 --> 00:37:32.520
Tara Woodlee: Yeah from the da's office.

454
00:37:32.790 --> 00:37:35.089
Tara Woodlee: she said. It's getting too dangerous.

455
00:37:36.040 --> 00:37:38.450
Tara Woodlee: This is getting really bad.

456
00:37:39.270 --> 00:37:40.560
Tara Woodlee: because there's

457
00:37:40.570 --> 00:37:45.550
Tara Woodlee: that whole week we had filing after filing after filing, and

458
00:37:46.980 --> 00:37:55.669
Tara Woodlee: So we arranged between. We had a conference call between the Da Advocate and her counselor through the

459
00:37:56.111 --> 00:38:13.339
Tara Woodlee: Crisis Center and myself and Ashley, and we came up with a strategic plan. Now Ashley was across. I live here in Texas, and Ashley was just across the border in Oklahoma. So we're kind of on that border between the States, and everything was happening over in Oklahoma.

460
00:38:14.099 --> 00:38:26.959
Tara Woodlee: So we made an arrangement for a program that they had some association with in which Ashley would come back into Texas into an a really high

461
00:38:28.794 --> 00:38:39.850
Tara Woodlee: what they call for high potential of fatality type of shelter that is very exclusive, that only certain people you have to be recommended into.

462
00:38:39.900 --> 00:38:43.369
Tara Woodlee: And so they were wanting to place her in there.

463
00:38:43.540 --> 00:38:48.659
Tara Woodlee: and we made all those arrangements on Thursday

464
00:38:49.170 --> 00:38:51.600
Tara Woodlee: on July 12, th

465
00:38:52.100 --> 00:38:54.079
Tara Woodlee: and she said.

466
00:38:54.360 --> 00:38:57.089
Tara Woodlee: Well, my work has been so good to me.

467
00:38:57.520 --> 00:39:02.059
Tara Woodlee: I'm gonna finish out my work week, Saturday, and then I'll go

468
00:39:03.290 --> 00:39:05.939
Tara Woodlee: and we all went. Okay, we have a plan.

469
00:39:07.170 --> 00:39:09.339
Tara Woodlee: But we didn't make it the Saturday.

470
00:39:10.980 --> 00:39:16.530
Tara Woodlee: So in the background, what we didn't know was that evening

471
00:39:16.650 --> 00:39:17.750
Tara Woodlee: Scott

472
00:39:18.610 --> 00:39:21.120
Tara Woodlee: had called his mother's ex

473
00:39:21.860 --> 00:39:24.840
Tara Woodlee: boyfriend and asked for a ride.

474
00:39:24.930 --> 00:39:28.029
Tara Woodlee: because between the 2 Josh's they did not

475
00:39:28.280 --> 00:39:29.300
Tara Woodlee: have a car

476
00:39:31.080 --> 00:39:32.320
Tara Woodlee: and

477
00:39:32.620 --> 00:39:37.729
Tara Woodlee: Joshua's mom had hidden him at a cousin's house 3 h away.

478
00:39:38.560 --> 00:39:48.299
Tara Woodlee: So Scott asked his mother's. Yeah, I know it gets complicated. His mother's boyfriend to give him a ride, and he took that man

479
00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:51.770
Tara Woodlee: down a path by that lake

480
00:39:52.150 --> 00:39:54.140
Tara Woodlee: that we talked about earlier.

481
00:39:54.330 --> 00:39:55.170
Mark Entrekin: Right.

482
00:39:55.170 --> 00:39:57.060
Tara Woodlee: And he shot and killed him.

483
00:39:58.190 --> 00:40:02.409
Tara Woodlee: and stole his money in his car and dumped his body at the lake.

484
00:40:03.990 --> 00:40:07.160
Tara Woodlee: and he drove 3 h to go pick up Josh

485
00:40:08.210 --> 00:40:11.270
Tara Woodlee: they that night the night before.

486
00:40:12.930 --> 00:40:17.349
Tara Woodlee: so that next morning they drove back into Oklahoma

487
00:40:17.560 --> 00:40:20.930
Tara Woodlee: and they met Josh's mom at a gas station.

488
00:40:22.070 --> 00:40:26.539
Tara Woodlee: Josh's mom. Now the car is full of this man's blood.

489
00:40:26.580 --> 00:40:27.940
Tara Woodlee: She saw that

490
00:40:28.090 --> 00:40:32.479
Tara Woodlee: they told her what had happened, and that they were going for Ashley next.

491
00:40:32.590 --> 00:40:34.949
Tara Woodlee: and she gave them guess

492
00:40:35.170 --> 00:40:38.750
Tara Woodlee: and cigarettes and beer, and sent them on their way.

493
00:40:41.630 --> 00:40:43.219
Mark Entrekin: I'm sorry. Tell me that again.

494
00:40:43.220 --> 00:40:45.900
Tara Woodlee: She did. She bought their gasoline.

495
00:40:46.070 --> 00:40:50.379
Tara Woodlee: she bought them beer, and she bought them cigarettes and sent them on their way.

496
00:40:52.110 --> 00:40:59.259
Tara Woodlee: Their plan. What we found out the police told us afterward, was to catch Ashley and myself

497
00:40:59.550 --> 00:41:05.770
Tara Woodlee: at the courthouse that morning. Ashley was supposed to renew her emergency protective order.

498
00:41:06.240 --> 00:41:11.220
Tara Woodlee: He knew the system, so he knew she had to renew it every 21 days.

499
00:41:11.530 --> 00:41:18.879
Tara Woodlee: What he didn't know was because of the holiday in July and vacation. The judge

500
00:41:18.910 --> 00:41:24.170
Tara Woodlee: asked us to come in 2 days previous, because he wasn't going to be in court that Friday

501
00:41:24.320 --> 00:41:31.520
Tara Woodlee: and go ahead and do the paperwork to renew it. So we weren't at the courthouse. He was going to shoot us down at the courthouse.

502
00:41:32.810 --> 00:41:41.920
Tara Woodlee: and so when we weren't at the courthouse, he went from there to Ashley's work. But Ashley wasn't at work yet, so they saw them pull up at work.

503
00:41:42.570 --> 00:41:44.360
Tara Woodlee: and she wasn't there yet.

504
00:41:45.020 --> 00:41:48.760
Tara Woodlee: and in the meantime I had seen

505
00:41:48.800 --> 00:41:50.359
Tara Woodlee: on Facebook

506
00:41:50.580 --> 00:41:54.569
Tara Woodlee: that Scott had posted a picture of a gun on Facebook.

507
00:41:55.520 --> 00:42:07.200
Tara Woodlee: and we were calling the police. My husband and I and the police told us, well, I'm sorry we can't do anything about a gun on Facebook. And I said, Well, to me, this is a declaration of They are coming for her.

508
00:42:07.890 --> 00:42:17.589
Tara Woodlee: That's what this is. Can you not have somebody go meet her at work, or something like that? And they were, they said, No, not without something happening.

509
00:42:17.770 --> 00:42:32.079
Tara Woodlee: and I called Ashley, and I told her what was happening. I knew she was fixing leave for work, and I begged her to please be careful. And my husband and I, when I got phone with her, decided we were, gonna go ahead and get ready and go up there to her.

510
00:42:32.080 --> 00:42:32.810
Mark Entrekin: Right.

511
00:42:33.060 --> 00:42:34.069
Tara Woodlee: And

512
00:42:36.390 --> 00:42:44.310
Tara Woodlee: He left work and went to the the house where she was staying, and that's where everything went down.

513
00:42:44.931 --> 00:42:49.369
Tara Woodlee: He broke in the front door. Why, Scott broke in the back door.

514
00:42:49.620 --> 00:42:50.929
Tara Woodlee: and he cornered.

515
00:42:50.930 --> 00:42:53.900
Mark Entrekin: They were working together in this totally.

516
00:42:53.900 --> 00:42:55.000
Tara Woodlee: They sure were

517
00:42:55.090 --> 00:42:56.330
Tara Woodlee: they sure were.

518
00:42:56.850 --> 00:42:59.300
Tara Woodlee: and he cornered her.

519
00:42:59.550 --> 00:43:02.259
Tara Woodlee: She tried to protect herself in the bathroom.

520
00:43:02.870 --> 00:43:04.056
Tara Woodlee: and he

521
00:43:04.790 --> 00:43:08.810
Tara Woodlee: He shot her twice because they struggled with the gun.

522
00:43:09.290 --> 00:43:11.189
Tara Woodlee: He shot her in the shoulder

523
00:43:11.310 --> 00:43:15.040
Tara Woodlee: and then in the head, and then he shot and killed himself.

524
00:43:15.250 --> 00:43:21.195
Tara Woodlee: But Ashley didn't die there, my! My little fighter didn't die there, you know.

525
00:43:22.250 --> 00:43:24.949
Tara Woodlee: What made it worse, and this is why I ended up

526
00:43:25.050 --> 00:43:28.529
Tara Woodlee: when people say, Oh, it may nationally. This is why

527
00:43:28.620 --> 00:43:33.760
Tara Woodlee: Scott ended up staying there, holding the other 3 people in the house hostage

528
00:43:34.790 --> 00:43:38.229
Tara Woodlee: while while this is all going along.

529
00:43:38.370 --> 00:43:39.050
Tara Woodlee: And

530
00:43:40.420 --> 00:43:53.239
Tara Woodlee: I actually ended up with mother's intuition at at 1 point, as we're getting ready to leave, I just started to have a panic attack. I've never had anything like it in my life. I knew something had happened.

531
00:43:53.650 --> 00:43:59.789
Tara Woodlee: I knew it, and I called, and when I called I called in the middle of the incident.

532
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:14.050
Tara Woodlee: and one of her roommates, such friends that she was staying with gets on. The phone goes. Tara Ashley's been shot, and and I can hear Scott in the background going. Don't say anything or I'll kill you all. And the phone went dead.

533
00:44:15.490 --> 00:44:23.010
Tara Woodlee: So we're all freaking out, not knowing what's happening. And they are in this hostage situation.

534
00:44:23.130 --> 00:44:24.550
Tara Woodlee: and

535
00:44:24.570 --> 00:44:27.049
Tara Woodlee: it it was just a total nightmare.

536
00:44:27.640 --> 00:44:28.180
Tara Woodlee: Scott.

537
00:44:28.180 --> 00:44:28.890
Mark Entrekin: Emerging.

538
00:44:29.060 --> 00:44:38.120
Tara Woodlee: Scott ended up fleeing the scene, and got away before too many of the cops surrounded the house. So he was on the leave.

539
00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:43.700
Tara Woodlee: and Ashley was care flighted down to Dallas in a hospital.

540
00:44:44.480 --> 00:44:52.420
Tara Woodlee: And all the family ended up having to go down there we.

541
00:44:53.390 --> 00:44:56.930
Tara Woodlee: We were there all night, and

542
00:44:58.029 --> 00:45:04.099
Tara Woodlee: Ashley end up passing away later that night because they said it was just too much

543
00:45:04.170 --> 00:45:10.269
Tara Woodlee: too much trauma to. They couldn't stop the bleeding, you know, and

544
00:45:11.870 --> 00:45:21.909
Tara Woodlee: it. It was very exhausting, because there for a while, they flew in specialists, thinking maybe they can keep her on machines for the sake of the baby, and maybe we would have a grandchild.

545
00:45:22.080 --> 00:45:28.140
Tara Woodlee: But that didn't work either, but they said her body was just shutting down. So

546
00:45:28.797 --> 00:45:31.962
Tara Woodlee: we tried everything we could. But

547
00:45:33.150 --> 00:45:35.710
Tara Woodlee: One of the things I tell people is that

548
00:45:36.290 --> 00:45:38.490
Tara Woodlee: it's very hard, because with

549
00:45:40.140 --> 00:45:52.189
Tara Woodlee: you have 50 family members up there saying their goodbyes, and she's on machines, and the doctor says you know, the neurologist says she will hear you click to the end. He guaranteed that.

550
00:45:52.310 --> 00:45:53.910
Tara Woodlee: and I have no doubt

551
00:45:54.020 --> 00:45:56.090
Tara Woodlee: of that in the end.

552
00:45:57.189 --> 00:45:58.139
Tara Woodlee: Because

553
00:45:58.681 --> 00:46:03.510
Tara Woodlee: in her final moments I had seen on the sonogram. They kept monitoring the baby

554
00:46:03.630 --> 00:46:11.159
Tara Woodlee: and I saw little Patience's last moments of her heartbeat stopping on the sonogram.

555
00:46:11.570 --> 00:46:12.270
Tara Woodlee: And

556
00:46:13.370 --> 00:46:18.680
Tara Woodlee: I tell people all the time I had to make the most horrific decision a mother has to make.

557
00:46:19.460 --> 00:46:24.679
Tara Woodlee: So I made that choice for my daughter to help free her. I told her.

558
00:46:25.070 --> 00:46:30.559
Tara Woodlee: I said, Ashley, I know you're holding on for this baby. That's the only reason you're holding on. And

559
00:46:32.050 --> 00:46:35.710
Tara Woodlee: if you need to be with her, it's okay. You can go, be with her.

560
00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:42.099
Tara Woodlee: and and I told her I'd be okay. But you know that's a lie. You can never be okay from something

561
00:46:42.470 --> 00:46:44.300
Tara Woodlee: something like that.

562
00:46:45.170 --> 00:46:47.950
Tara Woodlee: But she immediately she crashed.

563
00:46:48.690 --> 00:46:55.239
Tara Woodlee: and and we let her, because they had already declared her brain dead. At that point.

564
00:46:58.040 --> 00:46:59.189
Mark Entrekin: Go through all this.

565
00:46:59.480 --> 00:47:06.200
Tara Woodlee: It was. It was horrific. It was it was the worst thing you can think of, and

566
00:47:06.540 --> 00:47:12.209
Tara Woodlee: they finally caught Spot, and then we were thrown into the system with a death penalty case

567
00:47:12.220 --> 00:47:14.510
Tara Woodlee: that went on for 2 years. But.

568
00:47:14.510 --> 00:47:15.620
Mark Entrekin: Oh, my! Gosh!

569
00:47:15.620 --> 00:47:27.059
Tara Woodlee: Yeah. That finally ended with a plea deal between the families and him. And Scott is in prison for the rest of his life, for all 3 counts. He will never get out to run consecutively with murder.

570
00:47:27.620 --> 00:47:30.340
Tara Woodlee: including for the death of patients. Lens.

571
00:47:30.580 --> 00:47:35.549
Tara Woodlee: Not just, you know, Chad Chad Page was the name of the other man they had killed

572
00:47:36.675 --> 00:47:37.620
Tara Woodlee: but.

573
00:47:37.620 --> 00:47:41.249
Mark Entrekin: About 12 min left. I love what I am so sorry.

574
00:47:41.350 --> 00:47:44.219
Mark Entrekin: so so sorry! What you've been through. I I don't want.

575
00:47:44.900 --> 00:47:48.539
Mark Entrekin: I don't want this to happen to anyone else.

576
00:47:48.540 --> 00:47:49.210
Tara Woodlee: I'm not.

577
00:47:49.210 --> 00:47:49.765
Mark Entrekin: Again.

578
00:47:50.320 --> 00:47:51.199
Tara Woodlee: Neither do I.

579
00:47:51.200 --> 00:47:53.880
Mark Entrekin: I am so sorry what you have been through.

580
00:47:54.030 --> 00:47:59.519
Mark Entrekin: but I also love what you're doing through your organization and your journey.

581
00:47:59.650 --> 00:48:07.210
Mark Entrekin: and stopping domestic violence for other in the last few minutes. What can we do? How can I help? How can our listeners help?

582
00:48:08.060 --> 00:48:08.620
Mark Entrekin: What.

583
00:48:08.620 --> 00:48:12.090
Tara Woodlee: It's important to make the decision, you know, for me.

584
00:48:13.140 --> 00:48:14.750
Tara Woodlee: I had been real quiet

585
00:48:15.620 --> 00:48:18.399
Tara Woodlee: wife about what happened between me

586
00:48:18.910 --> 00:48:30.259
Tara Woodlee: and like I said, didn't talk about it with my children. So one of the things I think you have to is if you are experiencing that, especially if you have children involved have the conversations with your children.

587
00:48:30.270 --> 00:48:37.239
Tara Woodlee: But that night, leaving the hospital, I made the statement to my husband. On the way home, I said.

588
00:48:37.700 --> 00:48:39.029
Tara Woodlee: You know

589
00:48:39.940 --> 00:48:43.000
Tara Woodlee: I will never be quiet about this again.

590
00:48:44.350 --> 00:48:47.970
Tara Woodlee: and I have not, because.

591
00:48:48.980 --> 00:48:57.269
Tara Woodlee: raising my voice and putting Ashley's story out there, it started a chain reaction. Just my one voice.

592
00:48:57.660 --> 00:49:11.209
Tara Woodlee: Her friends, who were in domestic violence situations, started leaving and getting new lives, and then, because of it being in a national spotlight, we used that

593
00:49:11.240 --> 00:49:12.670
Tara Woodlee: to promote

594
00:49:12.920 --> 00:49:18.560
Tara Woodlee: Ashley's story in a way to do save even if it was just one person.

595
00:49:18.640 --> 00:49:37.509
Tara Woodlee: And then I was able to get involved with organizations that, like, now, I'm the head of break the silence against domestic violence. Who is promoting that? Escalating those voices and trying to help heal those who have been through it, who don't have a voice.

596
00:49:37.560 --> 00:49:44.369
Tara Woodlee: and the families who are affected by it as well, because so many times people forget the families they will.

597
00:49:44.740 --> 00:49:53.090
Tara Woodlee: They will focus on a family like mine for maybe a year or 2, but then the expectation is is, you get over it, and you go on.

598
00:49:53.580 --> 00:50:05.729
Tara Woodlee: and life does go on. Don't get me wrong, but you don't ever heal totally from the dynamic of how it rips your family apart.

599
00:50:05.740 --> 00:50:09.330
Tara Woodlee: and part of the lessons I learned with that

600
00:50:09.410 --> 00:50:22.149
Tara Woodlee: is, not only was I quiet, but my whole family was quiet until Ashley passed, and then everybody started talking about this generational

601
00:50:22.230 --> 00:50:29.109
Tara Woodlee: abuse that went down the line through my family a hundred years that nobody talked about.

602
00:50:29.520 --> 00:50:33.979
Tara Woodlee: Nobody did anything about it set us up

603
00:50:35.010 --> 00:50:36.360
Tara Woodlee: for this?

604
00:50:36.780 --> 00:50:46.699
Tara Woodlee: And how do you overcome and have those conversations? It's important for families to have these conversations and the public to have these conversations and know that this

605
00:50:46.790 --> 00:50:56.550
Tara Woodlee: not a private matter. It spills out into the public that day. People could have been hurt at that courthouse. They could have been hurt at the job they could have

606
00:50:57.410 --> 00:51:07.479
Tara Woodlee: that the public doesn't understand that 3 quarters of domestic violence, fatality, incidents, are bystanders.

607
00:51:07.590 --> 00:51:08.910
Tara Woodlee: bystanders

608
00:51:09.200 --> 00:51:11.529
Tara Woodlee: that are that are getting affected.

609
00:51:11.710 --> 00:51:13.019
Tara Woodlee: 3 quarters, 75.

610
00:51:13.020 --> 00:51:14.380
Mark Entrekin: Percent of the

611
00:51:15.080 --> 00:51:16.460
Mark Entrekin: those that are hurt.

612
00:51:16.780 --> 00:51:18.450
Tara Woodlee: Fatal incidents

613
00:51:18.910 --> 00:51:20.620
Tara Woodlee: are bystanders.

614
00:51:21.130 --> 00:51:25.650
Tara Woodlee: So it's that person's friends, families, coworkers.

615
00:51:25.950 --> 00:51:27.100
Tara Woodlee: that

616
00:51:27.140 --> 00:51:35.920
Tara Woodlee: the abuser doesn't just go after the lives of that one person they go after whoever is there?

617
00:51:36.400 --> 00:51:38.970
Tara Woodlee: So it is a society

618
00:51:39.210 --> 00:51:40.670
Tara Woodlee: reflection.

619
00:51:40.810 --> 00:51:42.199
Tara Woodlee: you know, of.

620
00:51:42.240 --> 00:51:47.359
Tara Woodlee: What can we do to help protect that person because it it spills over.

621
00:51:47.730 --> 00:51:50.952
Mark Entrekin: And one of the things I'm hearing you say, too, Tara, is that

622
00:51:51.450 --> 00:52:00.949
Mark Entrekin: as you're mentioning with break the silence against domestic violence, you're talking about everyone. It's not domestic violence is not 2 people

623
00:52:00.960 --> 00:52:03.710
Mark Entrekin: in a small room somewhere.

624
00:52:03.720 --> 00:52:06.310
Mark Entrekin: This is where you're talking about. People are

625
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:07.940
Mark Entrekin: armed or murdered.

626
00:52:08.448 --> 00:52:11.840
Mark Entrekin: Situation. They may or may not have anything to do with

627
00:52:12.070 --> 00:52:15.480
Mark Entrekin: which could include anyone listening to this today.

628
00:52:16.050 --> 00:52:17.060
Tara Woodlee: Exactly.

629
00:52:17.560 --> 00:52:19.290
Mark Entrekin: We have to do something.

630
00:52:19.610 --> 00:52:22.780
Mark Entrekin: What can we do? What are some things we have? 8 more minutes.

631
00:52:22.870 --> 00:52:28.470
Mark Entrekin: What can we do? Can we call you is there? I showed I showed you a website domain

632
00:52:28.600 --> 00:52:30.180
Mark Entrekin: earlier on the screen.

633
00:52:30.310 --> 00:52:40.000
Mark Entrekin: But what can we do to help each other and train each other. I know, I'm putting this podcast. Together. I speak, I coach, I consult.

634
00:52:40.060 --> 00:52:42.270
Mark Entrekin: I can't reach enough people.

635
00:52:42.430 --> 00:52:46.389
Mark Entrekin: How can we? All work? I will try, don't take me wrong. I'm.

636
00:52:46.785 --> 00:52:47.970
Tara Woodlee: I know. Yeah.

637
00:52:48.540 --> 00:52:51.069
Mark Entrekin: How can we all work together

638
00:52:51.900 --> 00:52:54.089
Mark Entrekin: to prevent this from happening it?

639
00:52:54.150 --> 00:52:57.969
Mark Entrekin: If we could stop 20% or 30% or 50%,

640
00:52:58.220 --> 00:53:00.180
Mark Entrekin: how do we start doing that.

641
00:53:01.450 --> 00:53:10.510
Tara Woodlee: There's a lot of different ways. You start the individuals around that you that you know, let them know you're there for them. If you see the sign

642
00:53:10.740 --> 00:53:30.079
Tara Woodlee: be the listening ear, and don't get frustrated if they don't just walk out right away. Most most women especially, but men as well. It takes up to 7 times to leave as an average before they totally are able to get out. And there's a bunch of different factors in that.

643
00:53:30.290 --> 00:53:54.089
Tara Woodlee: But you can start there just being that listening ear being the person to support, but have a game plan in the background as well. Other ways that we can help is that there are people do really fantastic, in my opinion, with helping support their local shelters and getting things out along those lines. There's never enough shelters. I will say that.

644
00:53:54.330 --> 00:53:54.900
Mark Entrekin: Well.

645
00:53:54.900 --> 00:53:55.280
Tara Woodlee: Bye.

646
00:53:55.280 --> 00:54:01.240
Mark Entrekin: There. I'm okay. You touched on a point there that is very intriguing in its nature in itself.

647
00:54:01.350 --> 00:54:03.629
Mark Entrekin: And you also mentioned earlier again about

648
00:54:03.670 --> 00:54:05.529
Mark Entrekin: how long people are helped.

649
00:54:05.720 --> 00:54:07.859
Mark Entrekin: but it comes down to

650
00:54:08.620 --> 00:54:13.550
Mark Entrekin: what can we do to help them into the shelter for safety, for caring?

651
00:54:13.750 --> 00:54:17.699
Mark Entrekin: But then, through training, and helping them out of that shelter into

652
00:54:17.960 --> 00:54:25.869
Mark Entrekin: a career, into a next step in their life, for themselves, possibly their children, their families. How

653
00:54:26.070 --> 00:54:28.840
Mark Entrekin: how can we make that turn that drive.

654
00:54:30.200 --> 00:54:38.129
Tara Woodlee: Well, that's part of what break the silence has decided on as far as what we focus on with our programs is that step after the crisis.

655
00:54:38.310 --> 00:54:45.849
Tara Woodlee: because we felt like there was a gap there. So part of what we promote is scholarships through our organization. Because

656
00:54:46.930 --> 00:54:50.070
Tara Woodlee: if a person goes back to school

657
00:54:50.220 --> 00:54:52.240
Tara Woodlee: and gets a degree.

658
00:54:52.450 --> 00:55:21.655
Tara Woodlee: you they are 88% less likely to enter another abusive relationship or go back to their old one. So for me. That is a great statistic, encouraging them to get back to themselves who they are, discovering who they are, helping them with their careers, and the people that they want to be helping them to find that person inside again, because it's been taken away from them from what they suffered during these relationships.

659
00:55:22.040 --> 00:55:27.309
Mark Entrekin: When you talk about scholarships, can you help me out with that just to universities? Or does that

660
00:55:27.360 --> 00:55:33.049
Mark Entrekin: help them? Also? Maybe get their Ged help them with some, maybe some certifications of

661
00:55:33.190 --> 00:55:34.610
Mark Entrekin: different types.

662
00:55:34.900 --> 00:55:44.330
Tara Woodlee: Yes, we help with with colleges, with workforce training. If they need that kind of help. We have that program

663
00:55:44.940 --> 00:55:55.210
Tara Woodlee: and then there's other organizations out there as well, who do some career oriented training. We also have grants that we do through a

664
00:55:55.666 --> 00:55:59.593
Tara Woodlee: financial literacy program, which also I I think it's

665
00:56:00.660 --> 00:56:15.119
Tara Woodlee: Is it Verizon? Or at? And t, 1 of the 2 of them have as well, I mean a financial training program that helps survivors because a lot of times they have been financially abused and do not know how to take care of their own

666
00:56:15.170 --> 00:56:19.059
Tara Woodlee: just regular, everyday bookkeeping, or how to pay their bills, or

667
00:56:19.120 --> 00:56:24.160
Tara Woodlee: how to buy groceries or whatever. So that's some of the efforts we do as well.

668
00:56:24.647 --> 00:56:31.809
Tara Woodlee: But there's lots of organizations who do that, too, and I applaud them. It's it's

669
00:56:31.830 --> 00:56:34.430
Tara Woodlee: it's just a struggle, because

670
00:56:34.910 --> 00:56:40.939
Tara Woodlee: the crisis is important. But it's just as important after they get out of the crisis

671
00:56:40.970 --> 00:57:03.429
Tara Woodlee: to help find them a community and support. And that's part of what break the silence holds retreats for them as well, so they can find their own community of people who went through what they experienced, who won't judge them, who listen to them and have that support within a community that they can talk to.

672
00:57:04.140 --> 00:57:13.179
Mark Entrekin: Thank you so much for all that you do. We only have a couple of minutes left, and that's 1 of the programs that I want to do working with you. Can you give your number? Do you have an office number?

673
00:57:13.360 --> 00:57:17.739
Mark Entrekin: Something that people can call if they need your help or support or email.

674
00:57:18.680 --> 00:57:19.330
Mark Entrekin: right.

675
00:57:19.941 --> 00:57:36.319
Tara Woodlee: What I would recommend is the website, because that has all the email information. And you can contact any of us through there with all the different programs and everything. So if they go to www, dot break the silence. D, as in dog V, as in violin

676
00:57:36.510 --> 00:57:37.580
Tara Woodlee: dot org.

677
00:57:38.030 --> 00:57:52.170
Tara Woodlee: so go there. You can see all the programs participate. Donate. We do a lot of impactful things, check out our, so we're all over every social media. So you can find us all there for sure.

678
00:57:52.700 --> 00:57:55.959
Mark Entrekin: I did just put your domain in the chat. We can see.

679
00:57:55.960 --> 00:57:56.430
Tara Woodlee: Wonderful.

680
00:57:56.430 --> 00:57:57.240
Mark Entrekin: Watching this

681
00:57:57.740 --> 00:58:01.770
Mark Entrekin: wonderful. That is excellent, and if anyone else is out there also.

682
00:58:02.020 --> 00:58:04.420
Mark Entrekin: any one of us can only do so much.

683
00:58:04.530 --> 00:58:06.800
Mark Entrekin: But I will be expecting working with this

684
00:58:06.900 --> 00:58:09.400
Mark Entrekin: segapi. Gotzira and I

685
00:58:09.640 --> 00:58:15.020
Mark Entrekin: are working on another program to help get this out some more. I'll be working with Miss Woodley as well.

686
00:58:15.230 --> 00:58:22.779
Mark Entrekin: Let's all come together in helping so other mothers like Tara, we feel for her so much

687
00:58:23.310 --> 00:58:25.310
Mark Entrekin: that we can do something

688
00:58:25.410 --> 00:58:30.799
Mark Entrekin: to educate people, and I think that is still our biggest problem. Because, Tara, as you mentioned

689
00:58:31.050 --> 00:58:32.929
Mark Entrekin: family 100 years of this

690
00:58:33.010 --> 00:58:35.640
Mark Entrekin: so many times, it's our culture.

691
00:58:35.680 --> 00:58:41.109
Mark Entrekin: it's our learning. And sometimes we just don't know. That's no excuse.

692
00:58:41.450 --> 00:58:56.040
Mark Entrekin: We need to help our school systems. We need to help our police department. We need to be able to reach out to people, as I see officers, police officers, fire officers, any of our servicemen and women when I see them. I tell them thank you.

693
00:58:56.320 --> 00:59:02.119
Mark Entrekin: because what we do have today that is good is by their support and our and their help.

694
00:59:02.220 --> 00:59:20.580
Mark Entrekin: And that's what we all need to do. So let's all work together. Please contact me. My phone number is on the bottom. You can reach [email protected]. Dot com www.markentrican.com reach out to me. I can connect you with Tara.

695
00:59:20.720 --> 00:59:24.940
Mark Entrekin: Let's work together in what we have to do. Going forward.

696
00:59:25.010 --> 00:59:28.309
Mark Entrekin: Tara, thank you again so much for bringing your story

697
00:59:28.430 --> 00:59:33.050
Mark Entrekin: and sharing this. I can't imagine how heart-wrenching this must be.

698
00:59:33.570 --> 00:59:34.710
Mark Entrekin: but thank you.

699
00:59:34.990 --> 00:59:36.380
Tara Woodlee: No, thank you so much.

700
00:59:36.630 --> 00:59:42.870
Mark Entrekin: Alright, Tara, thank you. Thank you all. I hope to see you all again next Thursday. Tara. It's been wonderful, all of you.

701
00:59:43.160 --> 00:59:45.800
Mark Entrekin: Let's make life better. Life is up to us.

702
00:59:45.910 --> 00:59:48.000
Mark Entrekin: Let's make it awesome together.

703
00:59:48.040 --> 00:59:50.290
Mark Entrekin: Thank you. All. Talk to you next week.

704
00:59:51.200 --> 00:59:52.080
Mark Entrekin: Bye. Now

705
00:59:52.590 --> 00:59:53.410
Mark Entrekin: cheers.

Episode 11: Tara Woodlee

Tara Woodlee

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