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Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Achieving Unity Success formula. This is our weekly podcast.
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And I'm so glad you're here. Always good seeing you. Hope you join us every week.
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As you can see on the first screen, this is our sign up for the newsletter.
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So to keep up with everything going on with Achieving Unity.
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And reality-focused dynamics, please come to this site. There is a QR code in the bottom right or there is the URL.
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At the top of the screen. Love seeing you. Again, thank you for being here.
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I am Mark Intricant, and I am about creating solutions one reality at a time.
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To transform our world today. A lot of things going on in the world and our wonderful guest is going to help us get through a lot of the problems that we encounter.
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I'll introduce her in just a few minutes. Creating solutions one reality at a time is the ability for us to be achieving unity to encouragement, inspiration, and inclusion.
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The podcast is on every week, every Wednesday at this time.
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1 p.m. Pacific time, 4 p.m. Eastern Time. And if you want to go out and see our podcast guests coming up, there is also a QR code in the lower right of the screen.
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Please feel free to use that to get out to our site.
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Love to see you come out there, talk to us and let us know what's going on.
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Well, who is reality-focused Dynamics? A reality focus dynamics delivers success-focused solutions.
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Please contact us today for more information on three different items of what we work with at Reality Focus Dynamics.
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One, using agile and lean outside of software. Some of you may be saying, Agile?
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Lane, what is that? Well, Agile is the ability to create and respond to changes and improvements It enables success in uncertain and possibly struggling environments by emphasizing adaptability Through better collaboration and communication.
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Lean is a methodology focused on maximizing value by minimizing waste and optimizing your processes through continuous improvement.
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Effectiveness and efficiency. The philosophy can be used in every discipline.
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In every vertical, including our homes. A lot of engineers know about it. A lot of information technology people know about it.
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But it can be used in every industry, in every vertical. I'm glad to help you work with that.
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Connect with me and I'll show you how to break all issues.
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All products that you may be creating and all services you may be trying to improve Down from the most complex business projects including rocket science. Yes, I have worked for boeing For Lockheed Martin.
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We can break those things down to the basic steps. Of training our teenagers.
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I know for some of us, training teenagers or raising our teenagers could be a challenge.
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But it's well worth it. Think of busy mornings at a family breakfast.
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Everyone has somewhere to go. Something to do from work to school.
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Many other events, many other locations to go. What about having a family stand-up meeting each evening?
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During which everyone shares their task for the next day. You can place sticky notes on the refrigerator with chores and responsibilities, and each person can move their sticky note from the to-do column to the done column.
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Create a breakfast station with a pre-portioned ingredient and a weekly meal plan to work from from day to day during the week, during all these busy times.
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You'll be minimizing decision fatigue. And reducing time spent searching for items and can help everyone participate in a smoother More efficient with my toys. I think I want to process.
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And we can do this from the family. To our social life, to work.
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Let me know if I can help you accomplish this goal.
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Achieving unity, that's what we focus on right now so much.
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Because we want to Focus on that power.
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Of encouragement. Inspiration and inclusion, because those are all part of The encouragement that can be a powerful force that fuels the core.
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Of empowerment. Encourage others to help accomplish the task.
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How many times have we had a hard time getting someone to do something?
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Well, that encouragement, that positive encourage And help us all feel better about doing what we need to do.
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We can inspire each other to achieve every goal. Unity, as we are in achieving unity makes us a successful team.
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Whether it's a couple in a relationship a team at work, a team on the ball field?
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Somebody working socially a church A large corporation.
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It's all about being a successful team. Include others and celebrate every victory. Don't be afraid of it.
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Don't be shy. Step out. Carol will talk to us more about this later too.
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But step out personally and professionally. Together, we can overcome every challenge.
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Are you facing relationship challenges or parenting difficulties? Sometimes it's hard to say yes. Sometimes it's hard to say no.
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Are you or someone you know struggling with relationship issues? Are parenting time issues in a divorce or divorcing parent?
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Let's transform that frustration into understanding with what the frustration? Where is the value interactions?
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Too many times are led by frustrations. And we need to figure out what's causing that frustration.
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And eliminate that cause. We must realize that anger A-N-G-E-R holds no value.
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Anger is just actions not gaining effective results. Like I said, it's not about saying no or not saying no It's by alleviating the anger and that frustration.
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Life happens. Personal relationships to parenting time, to prenuptial agreements.
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And nuptials not required because a lot of people aren't getting married because of some of the worries with us.
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Our legal system. But we can learn to embrace and enjoy.
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Every moment and every challenge together. I'd like to talk with you more about that.
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Achieving unity through that power of encouraging, inspiring, and including others personally and professionally.
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It works in the home, workplace. Small corporations, large corporations.
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The website home is on your left. That's the QR code there.
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The website contact page, please get in contact with me. That's the QR code on the right. I would love to hear from you.
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Again, we have weekly podcasts. We're here today. Lucky to be here today with a very special guest.
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We'll be here again next week. Next week, we're talking to Jamie Bizzell.
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At the Family Structure Repairment Coach. The week after that, Jennifer Jel.
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Empowering Men, Vision for Honorable Leadership. That's what he's talking about. It's nothing about being weak.
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It's about being strong and have an honorable leadership. Some of them haven't opened doors.
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So I'm going to pull chairs out for your spouse. Being important. Be what you can do.
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February 5th is going to be with agape Garcia.
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And… Regina Harmath, we're working together on a…
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Domestic violence, human violence process and putting the team together. Sorry, I didn't have that updated.
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But please join us on February 5th. For that as well. Women's motivation.
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Before, during, and after divorce. I'll be with Marty Winder-Adam. She'll be here February 12th.
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Being in business and doing it right. Alyssa Bicker. She'll be here on February 19th.
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A lot of things coming. Please be here week after week.
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As always, if you have questions. Always want to hear from you.
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And now, for the day that we want to hear so much from a woman that I respect.
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So… Greatly. It's awesome.
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So we're going to start 225 2025. Stronger with Carol Metz Murray, the founder of the Naked Leadership Movement.
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With leadership, personal and organizational change experience. She's now the boss of the Naked Leadership Institute.
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Carol Mitz Murray is a people, possibility alchemist. Intuitive leadership, coach.
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Consultant, speaker, and five-time author. She lives the principles, tools, and systems learned on her soul naked leadership journey Through high stress, anxiety.
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And trauma to authenticity. Vulnerability and her God-given gifts.
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Why Naked leadership is important? She is a mesmerizing communicator.
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One of those rare individuals that truly walks her talk. Her gifts of radical presence, enlisting help guide clients to two transformations in their personal and professional lives. You can see her website down on the bottom right.
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And on the left is her QR code. Should we take a picture of that one. Get on your phone.
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Be ready to talk with her later. And now… Let me help you. Let me introduce.
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Ms. Carol, Mitch Murray. Give me just a second here.
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I'll bring these up. Bring these over.
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Multiple monitors. Carol, how are you today?
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Oh, wonderful, Mark. I'm so happy to be here with you.
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I think you're on mute.
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Thank you. I am so excited you could make it today.
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I am too.
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Stop the share. And there we are. Again, it's exciting to be here with you today, Carol. I love talking with you.
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You have brought so much energy. The things that I think about, the things that I'm doing, the things that so many people are doing.
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I just, again, just so amazed about what you're working with.
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That naked leadership, that chance for us to be comfortable times when we've been uncomfortable Well, let's start off.
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Tell me a little bit about yourself. What inspired you to start?
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This naked leadership movement.
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Oh, I love the question. And before I answer that question, I'm going to put a qualifier out there to everyone listening and you, Mark too.
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When we talk about naked leadership, there is a qualifier. You get to keep your clothes on.
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Because this is an inside job. This one… Oh, well.
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That doesn't sound like near as much fun, Carol. What?
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Well, what inspired me? Really and truly, Mark.
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My whole life has been an inspiration of moving towards naked leadership.
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I'm sorry.
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And the discovery, the real self-discovery of who I am and moving out of unhealthy relationship and moving through some very heavy mental health issues. And one day getting to that realization that The question was, who am I?
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Like who really am I? And that was… then the question and the beginning of the I really need to stop and figure out who I am.
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Because what I've been presenting to the world, is that really me?
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Or is that something I've created? And thus really truly began that deep searching for what is naked leadership?
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And yes, it's all an inside job. It is about allowing that authentic, vulnerable, real.
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Me or real you to step forward to step forward Yes, just let go of what no longer serves you.
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So that was my inspiration of moving forward into naked leadership.
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That is excellent. Now, what does it mean to you As far as naked leadership. Tell us more.
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Like you mentioned to start with, people think naked, they think, oh, no, I don't have your clothes on.
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What does that mean? I mean, when you talk about it.
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It brings up a lot of thoughts in my mind, like I'm having fun with about not having clothes on.
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But down deep, as you talk about the heart. Soul, the mind. Tell us a bit more about what naked leadership means.
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Well, naked leadership means… like really For me, it's really getting into the heart of who you are.
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Because when we think about leadership. We automatically go to, in essence, the corporate world or the sports world or the industry world.
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Wherever. One thing we neglect to do is to stop.
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And have a look at who have a look at who we are being because leadership begins with me and it begins with you.
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It's about leading yourself before you lead others. And it was so busy leading someone else.
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I like that.
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How can we lead ourselves? How can we be that authentic individual, that person that is is vulnerable to life that experiences life and moves through life And yet, in so doing.
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Yes, they put themselves first in a selfless way and sometimes in a selfish way But when they do that, when you do that, you're more able to be there and present.
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I can see that.
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For someone else. And I'll give you an example of just something that Very recently, Mark.
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At Christmas time, spending some time with my granddaughter And… putting myself kind of at her, I'm going to use the word disposal, but it was all about spending time with her playing with her and playing with her putting myself
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You know in that place of this is me this is the vulnerable authentic me with my granddaughter.
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Now, your audience might say, well, what's the big deal, Carol?
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But one of the things that we did Which may not sound like a big deal.
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But it's the very first time in my life, and that's just because of who I am, I agreed that I would put on false nails.
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Not a big deal. In the big scheme of things.
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But in essence, that was taking a step into leadership Being there, being open, being available and being very okay within me and sharing that time.
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Mm-hmm.
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So that to me is really to me the leadership of your inner strength, your inner core of who you are.
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And yes, that to me is heart centered.
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That does sound like that's heart-centered because you're coming into where your granddaughter was helping her in the process of helping her Something she enjoys being part of that And during that time, are you still helping Teach her about basic principles and
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About being a child? Why?
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Absolutely. Absolutely. There was teaching in the moment and teaching about certainly about sharing there was teaching in the love exchange there's teaching about being present for someone else so teaching always goes on.
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I like that process because what I'm hearing, and please feel free to help me out here, excuse me.
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You were giving in a little bit to help her be her that's something that she liked and she enjoyed.
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Bars and nails, but also learning about Maybe a little bit of discipline of it's okay to do this, but maybe there's some limits. You don't want to go too far in the things that we do, right?
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Want to be in that fun time. That joyful time where maybe your granddaughter might listen a little better?
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Yes. Yes, absolutely, Mark. And in being there with her and being present In essence, yes. As we were playing with putting on the nails because it was The two of us who were playing with the glue and the names
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Yeah.
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We also did have that opportunity to talk and you know girl talk or granddaughter to grandmother talk And that created just a very level playing field.
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And so in essence, she was a leader as well as I.
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And from my perspective. I was role modeling for her as well.
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And that deepened the relationship.
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I can see that happening. Just exactly what you're saying role modeling Because in that process.
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Of being in her presence doing what she's doing She's still looking at you as you… Even though there's a year or two age difference Still looking at you as a good friend.
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A close friend, a partner In some ways, right?
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Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
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That… That…
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So naked leadership. Is you know it's that leadership of self is just to me is so critically important.
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More so today than maybe even five or 10 years ago.
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But that discovery of who are you?
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And how are you putting yourself forward? How are you leading yourself So that you can be there and lead as a mother or perhaps as a career person or as an executive or a business owner It starts with you.
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Wow, that's impressive, Carol. That brings up just so many thoughts.
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About us being able to be ourselves with them.
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And not be afraid to be afraid. And it makes me think back to when my daughter was young And I'm going in there and i was one of the few fathers that were there.
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So it was a little bit challenging in a way. Because I'm in there with a bunch of other mothers I'm one of just a couple of dads.
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And… I just felt uncomfortable When there was no reason for me to be uncomfortable with just people there being with our children.
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For mine, for what we were doing But that did bring some uncomfort to it.
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But it made my daughter feel good. I was there being her friend, being her partner also.
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Right?
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Absolutely. And what I Just heard you talk about mark was Really?
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Getting settled in. To being comfortable being uncomfortable.
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And so in essence. It… It's your own You stepped into the opportunity Whether you realized it or not at the moment.
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Of expanding who you were. Even in that discomfort.
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And the realization that there was comfort in that discomfort. Because as you moved forward.
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You would become more comfortable in being in the situation with your daughter.
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So really, that being uncomfortable is all part and parcel of our own growth of our again stepping into more of the authentic person of who we are.
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And that discomfort goes on, whether we recognize it or not.
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It's when we recognize it. That from my experience.
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We expand. More you know so it's good on you for recognizing that uncomfortableness
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Thank you. Thank you. And I think… that expansion like you're talking about as we expand That's a growth forward.
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That's a benefit. That's a value. That we're adding on to Our lives, again, our children's lives because as we are, as you mentioned.
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Uncomfortably comfortable, maybe comfortably uncomfortable But when we're that way, we can also be teaching our children that same Emotion, perhaps?
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Yes, we can. And again, we can We do that through that demonstrating through role modeling Who we are.
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And what are we doing as we step into the world?
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So absolutely. It's we… as that leader, we are constantly demonstrating. We are constantly checking in to who we are. We're constantly in that place.
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Of discomfort.
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And then we have to make sure that we ourselves are able to guide that so that that discomfort doesn't go too far.
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But we want to be comfortable when it's not harming myself are those we're around, granddaughter, grandson, children?
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We can see that we can see that That is, as you mentioned, that expansion that growing that we can do that.
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All of us enjoy from it. But we also know that there's limits.
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A child's getting too loud or going too far then we can still because of that friendship that partnership it's easier for us to say, okay, now wait a minute let's don't talk so loud.
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Let's don't quite do that. That might not be good. And here's why.
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Again, that expansion, that growth helps the two of you come together.
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While the learning is still going on.
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Yes, absolutely. Because in that exchange, we've created a safe place.
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For that expansion and that uncomfortableness to come forward.
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And as the adult, as the leader of self and others.
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It's to pay attention to what is actually happening. Within yourself.
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And as you are aware and become more aware of who you are as that naked leader.
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Your body and your mind and your intuition We'll let you know.
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If you're on track. Or if you're way off track.
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And that will bring you back to center. So part and parcel is, yes, we create the safe space for ourselves and for others.
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But we also create that space. Of listening.
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Wow.
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And observing. And being in tune and aware.
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With what's going on, whether it's our children whether it's our spouse and again, whether it's in the workday, in the work field, wherever.
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And it's those those skill sets.
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Also help to create trust. And allow love to flow more freely.
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And it sounds like what you're saying and from what I'm picking up, and I think I see this.
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You're talking about a grandmother-granddaughter situation and it could be still grandmother child it could be parent-child. It could be all kinds family type situations But I could also see could be employed to a boss.
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:40.000
It could be two of the C-suite, the CEOs, the CIOs, CFO.
00:26:40.000 --> 00:27:02.000
That same type of partnership that same type of… being uncomfortable being uncomfortable but still speaking up and speaking out politely, professionally But still being a little bit uncomfortable, but still bringing up some ideas that may need to be… addressed?
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:26.000
Yes, I hear what you're saying and let me share with you a story of a story If you have a client who I was working with and had and this client For the first three visits.
00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:32.000
Sat and cried. And intuitively.
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:38.000
The message for me was allow for allow the crime to happen.
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:45.000
On the fourth visit. The crying started again.
00:27:45.000 --> 00:28:05.000
And all of a sudden. And this happens is because I had a download And it basically, the words came out of my mouth And the question was… When are you going to stop running?
00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:18.000
The tears instantly stopped. Instantly and instantly Client sat straight up in the chair and looked at me.
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:23.000
Just sat there looking at me.
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:31.000
And as they looked at me, I did just a complete scan from top to bottom.
00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:40.000
And the next words that came out of my mouth. Out of my mouth where You might want to change your footwear.
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:47.000
I see you wear runners. And I had just said, when are you going to stop running?
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:51.000
I mean…
00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:58.000
The client looked at me. And the comment was, I've always worn runners.
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:05.000
You might want to give it some thought. They stood up, they left.
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:10.000
And I just sat there and said, this is going to be interesting.
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:15.000
I didn't hear from them for another probably about three to four months.
00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:21.000
And one day they showed up. Unannounced.
00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:26.000
And it was, do you have some time to speak with me?
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:37.000
I said, certainly. Because I was curious about what had transpired for for them.
00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:57.000
In that period of time. You know as they when they started to share with me what had transpired They said, when you said to me stop running or when are you going to stop running? It was like a light bulb went on inside of me.
00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:05.000
And it was so strange yet so transforming.
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:10.000
I left here. And this is what I've accomplished.
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.000
I have secured. A new place to live.
00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:22.000
I have registered and gone back to school. To upgrade my college degree.
00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:29.000
And thirdly, I have gone back into court and I now have joined custody with my ex.
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:34.000
Of my child. And I went, wow.
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:39.000
In three months. That is amazing.
00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:40.000
That is.
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:46.000
And I said. Just how are you feeling about all of that?
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:52.000
And they said, I have never felt better. It's like a new me.
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:58.000
And then… They lifted their leg and said, oh, by the way.
00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:09.000
I'm now wearing walking shoes. And I said, wow. So there is a metaphor of the running shoe to the walking shoe.
00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:15.000
Sometimes we do need to run in life. And sometimes we need to walk.
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:21.000
But in essence, it's in essence you know, when we are open.
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:28.000
To that expansion. Miracles will happen.
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:32.000
That is an excellent story. As you were telling me, I was getting chill bumps.
00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:33.000
Yeah.
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:37.000
I work with people going through divorcing, as I mentioned earlier, divorce, custody, parenting time issues And when you talked about that.
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:40.000
Yes.
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:45.000
And that person in your story Took off the running shoes.
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:48.000
Put on those walking shoes that maybe had a little bit more grip on the ground.
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:50.000
Yeah.
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:56.000
Because it's not being mean. It's not being forceful. Not being belligerent.
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:02.000
It's about being able to say no at times. Stop running. Stand still.
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:06.000
Think about the situation, right? What do I need to do next?
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:11.000
Yes.
00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:18.000
And as well, that also demonstrates.
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:20.000
Courage.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:22.000
I'm about to go there on that. Go ahead.
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:38.000
Well, it demonstrates, you know, it's pulling up courage. Is in essence is in essence It's in that moment, in that few seconds of her making the decision.
00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:44.000
I didn't make the decision for her. She did, but she did.
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:51.000
Found the courage to make the decision to reconnect with herself.
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:57.000
And in that whole process. There also is a curiosity.
00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:07.000
For her to discover who she is. But for me, when I talk about courage.
00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:16.000
It really is about making the decision to tell fear, to get to the back of the bus.
00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:22.000
It can now take a backseat because it's being replaced.
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:39.000
By courage. And to me, fear and courage really sit around your heart so it's Courage, it's that split second of Courage, support me here.
00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:43.000
And help me move forward.
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:46.000
Get beyond that fear. And I'm so glad you brought that up.
00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:53.000
Because I have that from you, from your website, the three C's.
00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:57.000
Courage. Curiosity.
00:33:57.000 --> 00:34:01.000
Capabilities. And I think there's also a fourth one Connection?
00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:04.000
Yes. The fourth one was connection. Yes.
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:09.000
Okay. Tell me more about that. Courage, curiosity.
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:14.000
Capabilities and connection.
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:41.000
Well, again, Mark. For me, that's my life journey of getting through some of the trials and tribulations and experiences that I went through And it was… For me, defining courage and allowing courage to come out for me to step more fully into who
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:47.000
I am. I am.
00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:59.000
Experienced burnout. That was… devastating beyond devastating because it impacted my whole life.
00:34:59.000 --> 00:35:11.000
My mental health, my physical health. My dream job, my family. There wasn't an aspect that wasn't impacted.
00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:21.000
And it was, as I began that journey When I made the decision that I needed to deal with this.
00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:25.000
That brought courage. To the forefront.
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:33.000
And courage began to courage began Open my heart.
00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:47.000
It really was with courage. And also, I really discovered really brought to the forefront that curiosity had always been a part of my life.
00:35:47.000 --> 00:36:02.000
But that curiosity then was How do you help yourself and others to move forward in being curious so what has what has you moved into this place.
00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:14.000
How will you move forward in rebuilding who you are and letting go of high stress and letting go of anxiety.
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:28.000
And through that all. Was really truly having a look at capabilities that were inside of me and Those are our superpowers. Those are our gifts that we are born with.
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:35.000
We all have them. And the biggest c of the biggest c all three of those.
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:48.000
Equals connection. And that's For me, connection is first and foremost is reconnecting.
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:49.000
I like that.
00:36:49.000 --> 00:37:06.000
To who we are. Really getting deep into who we are that reconnection And from there then it's You build the courage muscle. It's like going to the gym and working on having strong abs.
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:26.000
It's always there with you. And that is, in essence, too, of how I work with with clients to help with clients them see their potential and their capabilities and their courage to reconnect with who they are.
00:37:26.000 --> 00:37:40.000
Wow, Carol, that says so much because I heard you talking about that courage and to put that fear behind you Because I always talk about fear is nothing more than false evidence about reality.
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:49.000
But you take that fear. Through your courage, put the fear behind you And then when you do that, it allows you to open up.
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:54.000
Some curiosity because you have Put that fear behind you.
00:37:54.000 --> 00:38:04.000
You're able to have that courage to think. A different way. Possibly think about growing, as I'm hearing within yourself.
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:11.000
And maybe even with others. And then when that courage comes in To give you that curiosity.
00:38:11.000 --> 00:38:17.000
Maybe it's helping you bring out those capabilities to do to make those steps.
00:38:17.000 --> 00:38:25.000
To take what you thought about in that curiosity So that you're capable of taking that next step.
00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:39.000
And in that connection of your courage curiosity and capabilities I think, like you said, that building of that strength Then let you take your cell.
00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:42.000
Maybe to that next level?
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:50.000
Absolutely. Absolutely. It helps me or would help you to take you to the next level.
00:38:50.000 --> 00:39:04.000
And by doing that, Mark. Taking me to the next level always then works out in helping a client go to the next level.
00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:18.000
Because in working with clients as a guide, as I see myself as a guide it's you know it's your process, you're coming to me.
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:25.000
And I am their kids. Where is it that you are being held back?
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:38.000
By your fear. And I worked with a client who came to me with dreams on, I think it was five big sheets of paper.
00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:39.000
Wow.
00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:45.000
All of these dreams. And none of them had been put into action.
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:51.000
And so in essence her why was staring her in the face.
00:39:51.000 --> 00:39:58.000
Now, we walked. The road of setting fear aside.
00:39:58.000 --> 00:40:04.000
We walked the road of Her building, her courage muscle.
00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:14.000
And we walked the road of really building Self-confidence and self-confidence self reconnection.
00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:30.000
And accepting who she was for who she really, the gift that she already had and didn't realize she had in the life experiences, in the education.
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:36.000
In her day-to-day life. And she was a single mom.
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:45.000
With two little children to raise. And what am I going to do, Carol? I don't know what I'm going to do.
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:50.000
Over a period of time.
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:53.000
She created a business. Did she want to stray away from it?
00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:57.000
Excellent.
00:40:57.000 --> 00:41:05.000
Absolutely. But I was there as her guide. Helping her to move forward through the situation.
00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:11.000
Helping her to find what would help her?
00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:19.000
To move forward and build a business so she could support herself and her and her children.
00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:21.000
I like what you're… Go ahead.
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:29.000
And also it was to help her you know as to her What do you need to sustain all of this?
00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:37.000
At the end of our time together. She had her business in place.
00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:47.000
And some of her parting words to me were, Carol. Thank you for believing in me.
00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:52.000
Thank you for keeping me on this road.
00:41:52.000 --> 00:42:05.000
Of self-discovery. Thank you for helping me to replace fear with courage.
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:06.000
Wow.
00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:16.000
And she has gone on to build a very successful business but it was helping her see her capability her gifts that she to move forward.
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:20.000
That too is naked leadership.
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:30.000
That's beautiful. That's beautiful. I heard you talking about that. As a coach, what we do as coaches is to be able to give that, help them with that.
00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:35.000
Courage first so they don't talk themselves out of it.
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:41.000
So that they know that that courage Is there putting the fear behind them?
00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:46.000
Opening up again, as you had mentioned before, those curiosities about what can I do?
00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:53.000
What can I do? And then I think with your leadership You help open her up to those capabilities.
00:42:53.000 --> 00:43:01.000
And then as she connected the three of those together. Again, same thing. She was able to take that next step.
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:08.000
To get closer to where She wanted to be and she wanted to be where she could be.
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:09.000
Right?
00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:18.000
Absolutely. And her taking that step She discovered… that.
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:31.000
Fear needed to be moved. And she discovered that she had discovered that she what she needed inside of herself to make this happen.
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:38.000
And the other thing that she also shared with me is she said.
00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:42.000
You are the first person who believed in me.
00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:55.000
You didn't second question me. You didn't judge me. You held my toes to the fire another metaphor for shoes.
00:43:55.000 --> 00:44:04.000
She said, you kept me moving forward. So in that mark.
00:44:04.000 --> 00:44:22.000
In order for me to keep clients moving forward. I too need to keep moving forward. I too need to keep building the deeper and deeper authentic me.
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:30.000
That's another, that's beautiful. That's another wow working on wonderful WOW. Wow. Working on wonderful.
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:32.000
Can you help me out there as I'm listening to you talk?
00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:41.000
What are some possible common challenges that people are facing When embracing that naked leadership.
00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:47.000
You have some thoughts or examples that might Touch on that?
00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:54.000
One of the challenges that i see people experience.
00:44:54.000 --> 00:45:05.000
And quite frankly, I have experienced it as well. Because we are through my eyes, we're human beings.
00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:18.000
Having spiritual or we're spiritual beings having human experiences and the human experience is complex. I mean, it's who we are And, you know.
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:31.000
People are sometimes afraid they're scared to step in to discover more of who they are And that impacts who we are.
00:45:31.000 --> 00:45:37.000
In our daily lives And in our work lives and in our relationships.
00:45:37.000 --> 00:45:42.000
And more than ever today. You know, as we talk about leadership.
00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:52.000
It's that challenge of that challenge asking ourselves the question of asking the question Who am I being?
00:45:52.000 --> 00:46:00.000
And when we ask that. The universe will come back and they will show us who we are.
00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:06.000
But often in our busy lives. It's fine, you know, it's fine.
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:12.000
People say, well, I don't have time. Well, if you don't have time Today.
00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:18.000
The universe will get you at a point where it'll make you find the time.
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:25.000
To discover who you are. So in leadership Whether it's in business or professionally.
00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:33.000
Or in our daily lives it's what is it that we need to do?
00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:39.000
To discover who we really are. I see that.
00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:51.000
Say couples going through relationship breakdowns is when you really sit and listen to them Part of it is communication.
00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:57.000
But part of them also not understanding their emotions.
00:46:57.000 --> 00:47:02.000
That are hidden deep down that are calling to be addressed.
00:47:02.000 --> 00:47:05.000
And it doesn't matter whether it's woman or man.
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.000
Are those emotions maybe like fear like you were talking about?
00:47:09.000 --> 00:47:20.000
Yes. Fear. And fear hides. You know, fear hides below the I'm going to say the anger iceberg.
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:27.000
It's there ready to pop up and there's ready to pop up protect us, but quite frankly.
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:36.000
It can't protect us all the time. And moving into that next step.
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:42.000
Of, again, setting it aside and allowing courage to step forward.
00:47:42.000 --> 00:47:53.000
But really, it's too about being curious. Who are we? And who am I in this relationship? What's my part in this relationship?
00:47:53.000 --> 00:48:01.000
Really beginning to open up and accept In essence, the responsibility for who we are as well.
00:48:01.000 --> 00:48:04.000
Responsibility.
00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:11.000
Yes. You know and as As we move forward.
00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:16.000
It's amazing what what transpires.
00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:24.000
In accepting that responsibility and saying okay I need to shift and change.
00:48:24.000 --> 00:48:29.000
And Mark, when I launched Naked Leadership.
00:48:29.000 --> 00:48:35.000
In the fall of 2022. I had a coach say to me, Carol.
00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:43.000
You need a self-image adjustment.
00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:57.000
That's huge. To me, it certainly was. And it was, what could they possibly mean? I've been on this journey for How long? I've done all this work and here I am.
00:48:57.000 --> 00:49:04.000
What in heaven's name is a self-image adjustment? Well, at that point it was step back.
00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:09.000
Take a look. Be responsible for who you are.
00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:15.000
Really, what they were saying was the message from the universe, okay, Carol.
00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:26.000
Who is it that you are being What is it that you want to do or to be all that you can be.
00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:32.000
And really, that self-image adjustment is about responsibility.
00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:41.000
To myself. And when I am responsible to myself then truly that responsibility flows to others.
00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:45.000
In the relationship that I will have with them.
00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:51.000
That's beautiful. I like what you're saying there. And what I'm hearing, what I think I'm hearing on the touch on that one.
00:49:51.000 --> 00:50:00.000
Is that you're saying you have that that courage and that curiosity and the capability connecting those together to be a grandmother.
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:08.000
But you also have that to be a mother. And you also have that to be yourself.
00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:09.000
Yes. That's right. Absolutely.
00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:12.000
Am I hearing that right?
00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:20.000
And I will share a story with you that just happened On New Year's Eve.
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:33.000
I was out in the afternoon for a beautiful walk And when I walk, I generally walk by myself. That's just who I am because then I get zoned out in nature.
00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:53.000
Not paying particular attention to particular anyone you know anyone else other than just anyone else being with nature. And on this walk And I was walking at a fairly good clip Because I do lots of walking.
00:50:53.000 --> 00:51:02.000
But on part of the path I came up to or pardon me.
00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:07.000
Man had come and came up to where I was and said.
00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:13.000
Said to me. Wow, do you ever walk fast? I've been attempting to catch you.
00:51:13.000 --> 00:51:23.000
For over a kilometer. And I just looked at him and thought, well, who are you?
00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:37.000
You know it was just it was in it was just a kind of a shock with somebody would was stopping me. And I looked, okay, I can outrun you if I need to.
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:42.000
We didn't outrun each other, Mark. We started to talk.
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:52.000
And then we walked and we walked and we walked. And it was another two kilometers before he said, oh, I'm at my car now.
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:58.000
And I said, great. And he said, thank you so much.
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:18.000
For what you said to me. He said, because I will certainly give and have already been giving thought to the things that you said about what and how I… can look at who I am in moving myself forward.
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:42.000
And he had told me the story about a divorce that was not a very fun divorce to go through in financial times and being a co-parenting teenage daughters and all the trials and tribulations Can I share with you exactly what I said to him? No, because quite frankly, again, it was one of those downloaded
00:52:42.000 --> 00:52:49.000
Metaphor, shoe metaphor moments However.
00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:55.000
What I do know is that I didn't allow him.
00:52:55.000 --> 00:53:03.000
To stay in the place of victimhood. It was, this is your story is your story move beyond it.
00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:08.000
And here you are and keep walking and keep walking forward.
00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:15.000
What was really beautiful out of all of that mark was When we went to say goodbye.
00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:20.000
He put out his hand to shake my hand and then he looked at me and he said.
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:30.000
Heck no. I'm going to give you a hug. And I looked at him and I said, by all means.
00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:52.000
By all means, because a hug is also another way that we connect with others heart to heart. It was a beautiful wonderful way to say Thank you to 2024 and welcome in 2025 with Courage to step into the conversation
00:53:52.000 --> 00:54:02.000
Curiosity about curiosity about who he was.
00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:03.000
Okay.
00:54:03.000 --> 00:54:12.000
And looking at the connection at the end of it. So we all have that mark. We all have that as that leader inside of us that inner strength of who we are.
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:18.000
That is wonderful, Carol. That is just a beautiful story and we're coming up about three minutes before the end.
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:19.000
Oh, wow.
00:54:19.000 --> 00:54:34.000
These meetings go so fast. People think, it's an hour And they go so fast because of the way we can bring things like this out and That story, two of your stories have given me a little bit of chills just just thinking about them.
00:54:34.000 --> 00:54:45.000
So can you do you want to close with something on that? Do you have a quick closure kind of to touch on that or would you
00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:55.000
My closure to your guests and sharing with you, Mark, because this has just been such a wonderful time.
00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:59.000
Is I leave everyone with a question.
00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:03.000
And that question is. Who would you need to be?
00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:10.000
To live the most extraordinary life. That you can live.
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:16.000
Personally and professionally. And in business.
00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:22.000
Who would you need to be?
00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:26.000
That is great, Carol, because it takes me back right to what you had said earlier.
00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:33.000
With the three C's of courage Curiosity and capabilities and connecting those three.
00:55:33.000 --> 00:55:40.000
Together, as you help people encourage you help people in curiosity. You help people with capabilities. You help them connect it.
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:45.000
But it sounds like also You have people that already have courage.
00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:50.000
They already have curiosity and they already have capabilities, but you also help them.
00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:58.000
Connect what they already have. To make that life better, to answer the question that you just asked.
00:55:58.000 --> 00:55:59.000
Right?
00:55:59.000 --> 00:56:05.000
Absolutely. And that is getting naked on the inside.
00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:10.000
Beautiful. Carol, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure having you here. I just enjoy talking with you.
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:16.000
Let's keep this conversation going. Maybe we can meet again like this here in a couple of months. Come back.
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:17.000
Let's see who else we can help.
00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:21.000
Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much, Mark, for having me. Been such a wonderful time.
00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:27.000
Joe. It's a pleasure. It's always a pleasure talking with you. Thank you so much.
00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:33.000
And to you for everyone watching Please come back next week. We'll be here again next Wednesday, 1 p.m. Pacific time.
00:56:33.000 --> 00:56:39.000
4 p.m. Eastern Time. And we'll be talking about solving problems one reality at a time.
00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:44.000
Let's break them down to solvable. Workable issues.
00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:49.000
Get them taken care of to make life better. One step.
00:56:49.000 --> 00:56:54.000
One success at a time. Carol, thank you again. Thank you, everyone.
00:56:54.000 --> 00:57:01.000
Enjoy your week. Hope to see you again next week. Thank you all.
